Post # 1
Aw man. So I’m on the Bee a lot. A LOT. What can I say, I like it here. You gals are awesome. I’ve been really good lately about not talking about engagement stuff at all. Whenever I get the itch, I quietly log onto the Bee and I’m good. Half the time I’m right next to him on the couch, he doesn’t even notice. So this morning I’m at the kitchen table on the Bee, typing away. BF walks up behind me and goes “what’s that site you’re on? The WEDDING BEE???” I tell him “um, yeah, I’m on here all the time. What, I can’t even go on the wedding bee site? Seriously?” He responds “no, that’s not what I’m saying. What is it? Where’d you find it?” all concerned-like. I tell him in maybe what could be later described as a bitchier-than-totally-necessary tone “it’s the wedding bee. All girls know about the wedding bee. There’s stuff on here other than wedding stuff. What, I can’t even go on a message board? *heavy sigh, sideways glare*”
He responds “I’m just teasing you” and scampers off into the office. Now I feel like a jerk. I work so hard at keeping my proposal anxiety under control and not bringing up anything wedding related and I guess having him give me crap about one of my few outlets just hit a nerve. I know he’s saving up for a ring and that a proposal should be coming within the year, but I hate having it be this elephant in the room we can’t even discuss.
How many Bees’ BFs know they cruise these boards? Do they give you crap about it? Did I overreact? I was doing so well, too! 🙁
Post # 3
lol it happens. My fi did not catch me on the bee before we were engaged… and i’m really glad bc I wouldn’t have wanted to know that I was onto him! haha.
I do think you kinda over-reacted… especially because it doesn’t seem like he was upset that you were on there. I would maybe be extra nice to him later today 🙂 Or just tell him that you’re sorry you snapped at him… you were just embarrassed bc he saw you and you didn’t want him to feel like you were counting your chickens before your eggs hatched or something.
Post # 4
Haha. I’ve never been caught on the Bee, but I have been caught with like 5 Say Yes To The Dress recorded on my DVR. He “lovingly” refers to it as my wedding “p*rn”. Haha – I wouldn’t worry about it – yes you may have over reacted, but it’s one of your dreams/hopes and men and women alike are very protective of their hopes/dreams/desires!
I agree with Corgi, just be like “I wasn’t trying to give you any subtle hints or anything!” 😉
Post # 5
oh man, I can totally relate!! I’ve casually mentioned that I’m on “wedding forum” sites “once in a while” (haha I’ve never admitted to being here daily… multiple times a day…). Can I go as far as admitting it’s like porn for women? maybe… 😉
I think that there’s a few things at work here. You feel a little guilty being on here before he’s officially popped the question, since you don’t want to make him feel rushed or anxious about proposing. My bf just doesn’t understand that it’s such a nice environment here, and that everyone is sooo sweet and supportive, so it’s not just that it’s wedding-related stuff.
If he asks, show him and he may understand why you like it. Next time he ‘catches’ you on here though, I’d resist the temptation to over react. You have nothing to hide, but conversely, don’t be too harsh about it either. Just give him a huge hug and kiss, do some sweet talking, and I’m sure everything will be allright 😉
Good luck! I’m right there feeling the exact same way!! 🙂
Post # 6
sorry but im keeping this as my secret society, if he caught me on it he would probably think oh here we go again about thehole marriage thing, but ten again i am assuming.
he may not think anything really of it just say you use it as a chat site not to discuss weddings.
Post # 7
Hi Lezlers! New poster here. Just wanted to say that I can understand your not-so-nice tone. My SO doesn’t know I am here, and I probably would feel a little awkward if he caught me–like I was counting my chickens, like CorgiTales mentioned. Some of the frustration may be just a function of the waiting process, and feeling no control over the future. It is hard to have the “elephant” in the room, and to try and act like it’s not there. This is a safe place where everyone feels free to talk about the elephant, which is wonderful.
Post # 8
Oh mine knows. He doesn’t care. Sometimes I even send him links to posts to show that I am right about everything. Although he still can’t manage to buy a ring. Redic.
Post # 9
I know the feeling! I have been a member here for months, without my BF knowing about it. He caught me last week when he came sneaking up to the computer and looked over my shoulder. He was in the kitchen making dinner, so I thought I’d just quickly check WB for any updates. When he came into the room, I couldn’t minimise the window quickly enough, so he saw the site.
I felt so embarrassed, so I said (in a slightly hysterical voice haha): “What are you doing?! Don’t sneak up on me like that!!! That’s really naughty!” My BF just smiled, looking amused, and said “I know that’s naughty!” Me: “Well, don’t do it again!”. Again, he just looked amused and went back into the kitchen.
He didn’t say anything about it, so I figured he’s okay with it.
You probably over-reacted a bit, but I understand your reaction!
Post # 10
I check WB on my phone all the time. I’m pretty sure my BF has caught me, but he hasn’t said anything. I don’t tell anyone that I’m on here. I want this to be a place I can come to and enjoy looking at posts and giving my opinions and thoughts and possibly vent. You girls are the best!
Post # 11
He ended up being totally fine. I apologized for snapping and told him that it’s kind of a sensitive subject for me. He said he could totally see how I would be sensitive and that he was sorry. Then he kissed me and told me he loved me.
And THAT, my friends, is why I’m happily waiting. 🙂
Post # 12
Oh, and thank you bees, for the support! I love these boards!
Post # 13
Bahahahaha this brought back memories. I was a hard-core lurker before we got engaged. I came out of the internet closet right after Mr. O popped the question, and he just laughed when I told him how excited I was to actually start posting.
Yeah, I didn’t know there was a waiting board. I may have been even more of a creep. Don’t worry, I bet things will turn out a-okay for you two. Your guy sounds pretty chill 🙂
Post # 14
About two weeks before my fiance proposed, I finished my exams and basically spent all day watching Say Yes to the Dress marathons and Four Weddings reruns. I was really hoping that this wasn’t freaking him out, cause I knew he was thinking of proposing. I actually asked him multiple times if it was okay to watch, and he said he was fine with it.
I also signed up for a couple of wedding and wedding dress sites and I felt very secretive about it, like if he found out I was already looking at them it was going to send him running for the hills!
Post # 15
I hear ya! My boyfriend doesn’t know I come on here – I mostly look during work hours! (naughty!!) so I get the over reaction – you dont want to feel like you are pressuring him or any of that. But these boards are so helpful to us waiting girls, it makes the tough times a little easier.
From the sounds of it though, he wasnt upset or mad you were looking at the boards, so that is very positive!
Post # 16
My FI knew before we were engaged. He didn’t mind it, because it gave me a place to discuss my wedding crazies without pestering him haha.