Post # 1
I got engaged 2 weeks ago on the beautiful island of Maui. SO did a great job with the proposal. We had looked at rings weeks prior, and he placed an order for a Verragio setting that I loved which would take 4 weeks to complete. But he wanted to propose sooner during our trip. So, his dad helped him picked out a gorgeous setting, but the band is rather thick for my finger, and doesn’t really fit me at all. It is beautiful regardless.
Ideally, I’d want to change the stone to the Verragio setting, but after numerous family members have told me it’s not good to change my engagement setting so soon (may be bad omen for the marriage), and that i would hurt his dad’s feelings. The jeweler just called and said my setting is ready for pickup! 🙁 Feeling so blessed, but feeling so wasteful at the same time! Any idea on what I should do with the Verragio seeting in the mean time? It’s a beautiful halo, which was what i’ve always wanted.
All in all, I feel extremely lucky to have 2 settings and the perfect proposal!
Post # 3
I do not believe in bad omens, especially ones that rely on material items such as rings. It’s silly to think that some piece of metal would hold that much power over your the future of your marriage.
I would ask your fiance if he thinks it really hurt his dad’s feelings. Obviously your fiance didn’t intend for you to wear that setting for very long, since he placed an order on the Verragio setting. Perhaps he shared that info with his father while they were choosing a temporary ring?
ETA: If your father is emotionally invested in that setting maybe put a blue sapphire, topaz, or aquamarine in it and wear it as a right hand ring as your “Something Blue” on the wedding day. Then it will still be special. But regardless, you should have the setting YOU want to wear for your engagement ring.
Post # 4
I think it’s fine to change it. It’s the setting you wanted originally.
Post # 5
I dont believe in bad luck against a ring setting, so if the Verrigo was the one that was meant to be used in the first place and the one you love, I’d just get it changd to that one. I dont understand why he would have gone to the trouble and have his dad pick out another one anyways though if it was going to be so temporary. Why didnt he just use a plain band if you guys already ordered the other one?
Post # 6
Get it changed! That’s what you wanted in the first place. It’s not like his dad picked it and you later decided you wanted an upgrade, you already chose the Verragio and ordered it.
Oh and I am a huge fan of Verragio, have one myself! Which setting is it?
Post # 7
@6598731ssfse3: I like that idea!
Or, could you have the metal melted down for your wedding band?
Post # 8
Just change it to the Verragio, which is what you wanted and had already ordered (and agreed to with you FI!). The second setting was a stand-in so he could still propose (and did your FI not tell his dad you had a setting on the way already?). I seriously doubt your FFIL is “emotionally invested” in the setting and would be all butthurt.
As for the busybodies, it is none of their business! They sound like they are just making stuff up as they go along anyway.
Also, I do not believe in “bad omens” especially not ones made up by people to try and make you feel guilty or to conform to their expectations. I have changed my wedding set twice before finding my forever set, first due to style then due to allergies, and am very happily married. The rings do NOT make the relationship.
Post # 9
I don’t think that it is bad luck to change your ring. It is not the type of band that makes your relationship work. I don’t want to be a cliche and say “it is your love that keeps you together” but it is true. If your relationship is going to work it won’t be because you kept the setting he proposed with for X amount of time