(Closed) Got into a fight with DH about my hair…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Can you get an annulment? Some things aren’t worth saving.

Post # 4
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow…no, you aren’t doing anything wrong. He’s projecting something on to you and he should nip it fast! My feelings would be extremely hurt if my FI said I was ugly….I’m sorry 🙁

Post # 5
Member
3407 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What a douche. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, it is totally unacceptable.

Post # 7
Member
8907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Wow, that is really not cool. He should think you look gorgeous no matter what  – and if not, he should damn well keep his mouth shut. 

how long were you together before you got married? Has he always treated you like this?

Post # 9
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

get an anulment, once the ugly comments come out its down hill- my ex husband did that alot and it got worse when i got pregnant the first time- 195 pounds on 5ft 5 frame is not great but hey i just had a good size baby. when i got pregnant again i made my self loose the weight as soon as my son was born= really unhealthy 110 pounds doctors were worried big time bout me post partum. he was still saying i was ugly ect. if you have a chance to save yourself from YEARS of abuse i would in a heart beat.( took me 6.5 years of toxic abuse to realise i deserve much more)

Post # 10
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You have EVERY right to be upset at him – not only for calling you ugly, but also calling you a bitch! That is NOT okay, in any way! Sounds like something is seriously wrong with him and he’s just choosing to pick on you instead of discuss it. 

Post # 11
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What an asshole. That’s abusive language. 

Post # 12
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

I don’t remember if you mentioned in the other thread if you were going to couples counseling or not, but please please go! There’s clearly something going on – upon first thought, he may be really resentful that you’re limiting his time with his friends. Not that you were in the wrong – he was being unreasonable, but he may be feeling that way. I think you really need an outside party to help.

But if that doesn’t help and he’s not willing to work with you then a separation isn’t a bad idea. He’s being a complete asshole, and you’re 100% correct for not tolerating his behavior. I mean really, you shouldn’t be offended at an insult because he’s being honest? Eff that. Blatantly insult him to his face and say he shouldn’t be offended and see how he feels. 

Post # 13
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@asianyoushi:  I haven’t had personal experience with this but that’s kind of my thoughts. Flat out calling someone ugly & then a bitch is a HUGE red flag

OP, if he doesn’t even realize or acknowledge he’s done something wrong…I’d be counting his strikes. I didn’t read the post you posted before but this would be a huge strike. The biggest problem would be him seeing nothing wrong with his behavior. I think I’d be inching towards the door here.

Post # 14
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBeck:  hes tearing you down so you’ll feel as crappy as he feels about himself. this may not be about you, but no matter what he’s supposed to have your back. Is there something in his life that’s changed to make him so angry? 

Post # 15
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

While a wife should always try to look attractive to her husband (and vice versa)….that is in no way an excuse for this type of behavior! He should be ashamed of himself. If my husband ever called me ugly and unattractive I’d be sleeping somewhere else for the night until I decided whether we were going to be seeing a marriage counselor. On top of that, I made it clear to my husband at the beginning of the relationship (don’t even remember in what context) in no uncertain terms that he was never to call me a bitch no matter what. I think it’s demeaning because of the word itself, and on top of that once you’ve reached a point of name calling the respect is gone. I think you need to consider if this marriage is worth saving and get yourselves to a counselor ASAP if you decide that it is. 

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

No husband should ever, ever tell you that you are ugly, unattractive, etc. Ever. He should think that you are beautiful always, whether dressed up or naked or wearing rags. Hair pinned back, hair let down or hair all crazy. 

Period. 

Sorry, it just made me so angry for you! 

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