Post # 1
I think writing this out will help me a bit, sorry for the depressing subject. Me and my Fiance just got engaged this past July and of course it was the best day of my life thus far. My mom has colon cancer and it has been a rollercoaster with the ups and downs of this disease. She has had the disease for the past four years and recently underwent surgery to remove some tumors and they deemed her “cancer free” about 3 months ago. Yesterday I found out the cancer is back and it is not looking good. She went in for chemo and had an allergic reaction so she was unable to have the treatment. If she cannot have this chemo her options are very limited. I am finishing up my last year of grad school but am freaking out of the thought of my mom not being at my wedding. I am not sure if I should plan something small maybe in the fall or winter just in case because I feel like my wedding would be depressing for me if she was not there. I don’t really know what to do I am freaking out, sorry for the vent but thanks for listening.
Post # 3
Hi sweetie I am so sorry that you are going through this ((hugs)) I lost my mum too, and I really missed having her at my wedding, I would have something small and have my mum there, but i am sure she i just thrilled that you are engaged and so happy, I’ll be thinking about you!
Post # 4
I am soo sorry hun, that is just aweful. (((HUGS))) Have you talked to your mom and asked what she would like to do?
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2011 - St Aloysius' College, Milson's Point
Firstly – I am so sorry you are going through this and your Mum is in bad shape, I wish I could give you a big hug and make your Mums cancer go away!
Is it feasible to have something sooner? Have you spoken to your Fiance and your Mum about it? If I was in your position, I would be getting married tomorrow because I honestly cannot imagine my wedding day without my Mum (or my dad for that matter!)
Post # 6
I am so sorry you are going through this. (((HUGS!!!!))) I think a small wedding in the fall or winter sounds lovely. You should talk to her about this. She might say to go ahead & wait for the big wedding, because she is your mom. She wants you to be happy. But if the small wedding with your mom there is what you want, just tell her that. She will be so happy for you either way I am sure. 🙂
Post # 7
@simpleandchic: Thank you so much! I am sorry that your mom couldn’t be there in person but I am so sure she was looking down and proud as ever!
@tksjewelry: I brought it up to my mom but I think she is somewhat unstable right now because of the news she just got so its hard for her to think straight…..I am going to give it a couple days and then talk to her about it. Thank you for your support 🙂
@teaspoon: It is not really feasable at the moment but my Fiance said he is going to start saving hardcore, and he works in the wedding business and many of his co-workers know our story about my mom and some of them have offered free services to us or for cost if things go badly. I’m trying to be hopeful of my mom’s condition but I would rather plan just in case. The only problem is I am getting a teaching credential along with a masters degree so saving or extra money is literally non-existant for me. But I am so freaked out I would take a loan out if I had to. I know that’s not the most responsible option but I feel like I have to do what I have to do. Thanks for your support 🙂
Post # 8
@Nicoleeee18: Sending you a huge cyber hug.
I lost my mom last year unexpectedly and currently we going thru a very bad spell with a family member who is also suffering from cancer. We almost lost him a few days ago, its been a very difficult time. I can tell you with 100% certainty, if I knew then what I know now, I would have absolutely had an city hall/intimate wedding last year so that i could have had both of these people there. Now i’m left to wonder about the what ifs. I was so caught up in my vision that I lost sight of what really matters. Committing to each other and celebrating it our special loved ones. Have your mom there darling. No need to over think or over plan it. Make it simple yet chic. You guys really don’t need spend ton of money, since you still have to plan for your bigger wedding 🙂 Both will be wonderful celebrations. I wish you luck. PM me if you need talk.
Post # 9
Oh my god. I am so sorry.
I think you should absolutely do the wedding now, as soon as you can, even if it’s just something small. My dad had cancer, and after they had to adjust his chemo because of the allergic reaction his cancer progressed very quickly. (The nurse told us everyone reacts eventually, it’s a matter of when, and unfortunately it’s usually one of the most effective drugs.)
My heart goes out to you; it’s an awful thing to go through.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry. 🙁
If you have some people who are offering to help, and you may be able to swing it, I would reallly look at doing it sooner so your mom can see you marry. I think that having your mom there will mean more than fancy centerpieces, etc…
I hope she improves and there are other options for her.
Post # 11
I’m so, so sorry =(
I would say have a small wedding sooner than you originally planned. Having your mom there will mean more to you in the long run than waiting and having the big wedding you may have been planning. Maybe even give things a little while to settle and talk to her about it?
Your mother is in my prayers!
Post # 12
So sorry you are dealing with this! I agree with PP – talk with her about it. That will mean a lot to her.
Post # 13
+1 to all she has said.
Maybe just surprise your Mum with a small celebration too. I’d be afraid if you asked her, it would just put her in a hard position.
Post # 14
Yes, I agree that you should talk with her and make the decision together. If you can pull something off sooner and you are comfortable with it, then go for it. I’m sorry you are going through this. My FI’s mom had cancer and having to watch him go through that was not easy. Sending love your way…what a hard time to be going through…
Post # 15
@bklynbridetobe:This. i agree!
I’m so sorry! This is a tremendous time of fear and sadness in your life 🙁 I am going through a similar situation with a cancerous family member, and I just sprung for a quick and simple wedding. I realized what mattered most was making sure that person got to join me and I didn’t take things for granted. It has made my planning much more personable, sentimental and grounded.
Your in my thoughts and prayers, follow your heart!
Post # 16
@Oneeleven: Yes thats a great point. Don’t ask her about moving it up, cause then she will probably feel guilty that you doing this for her. Just do it (if you decide that this is the right move for you).