- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hi Bees 🙂
Firstly I just want to say Hi! Its my first time positing on the forum but I have been lurking around and after reading all the wonderful advise given i thought it was time to pop a little worry of my own on here to see if any of your amazing ladies could help put things in check for me…
I also want to thank you advance and appologise for this being so long but I really want you all to get the ins and outs.
Okkkk where do i begin!
i met my oh june of last year. Whirlwind to say the least. After a very abusive 8 year relationship which ended a few years before meeting the most wonderful caring and hard working man.. who has slowly built my confidence again… i have found true love
From the word go he has always been a jokey kinda of guy, very light hearted never serrious, he isnt the gushy type of romantic guy but he would do absolutely anytthing for you..
(My parents got engaged after 2 weeks meeting eachother and on the first week of us going together he found this out and joked he better get a move on… that kinda of joker)
But while always talking about the future and telling me how much he loves me and wants to have a family with me not once did he mention wife until i brought it up. and he said he knew one day we would be married etc and that was it – that he just didnt see it yet, that was about 4 months into the relationbship… I had said at that point that i wouldnt be having anymore children until I was married with somone( i have a lil boy from the abusive relationship in which i was engaged at the time)
When our friends joked about the topic he always joked back and said oh it will be 2013 cuz i think the number 13 is actually lucky etc and i secretly got delighted that he would be thinking of maybe asking soon but because of his jokey ways i didnt no if he was serrious or not.. when asking him out right again he said he could see it but not for a while yet…
we went through the mall one day and i was fed up with him joking and we passed the jewellers, it was him who stopped to look at them and i walked on not wanting to get my hopes up he said he must find out a ring size for me soon and i laughed it of and walked on.. that was really the last time he showed me he was talking or even again, joking about it??!
that was about 7 months ago… I live in my own home with my little boy and he stays with us most nights a week but is residing in his parents home in feb as we decided to build a house together so were currently waiting on permission and he is saving everything he gets to do this for us, BUT we fell pregnant in may .that we are delighted with, but with this has now made me realise how much of a commitment i want from him,.. I know a child is a huge commitment but i got so excited everytime he mentioned something about marriage and nothings happened if anything its gotten put of even more as when we were talking he said his mum asked were we going to get married then and he said directly no – and me being me i was like ” awk sure we wouldnt want ppl to think we were only doing it becuase of the baby” and he agreed so when ppl ask us this he always says first awww we cant afford a wedding at the minute and we dont want ppl to thin were doing it for the baby besides were building a house etc… it really disheartens me becuase all his mates have been saying get the finger out, you should be getting married and he just keeps saying we cant afford it…
He says im the only person for him and he wants nobody else and hes not going anywhere ever and i know ive been proven engagement doesnt mean anything becuase of my last relationship but with him and being the love of my life and having a family now together i really want it… he says he has a 5 year plan for us as i said i didnt want to go down the ailse after im 30 and he laughed
He really wants a big family of 5 kids or so and i said im not having anymore after this one till im married… i also made him promise me for a laugh a boob job (really need one even after one kid) if i have that many babies and he laughed and said well why dont we have them all b4 we get married so u ca have it done for the wedding – this frustrated me even though its in jest because it seems to me he will be happy just to have a family with me but not make me his wife and still get all the kids out of it!
He also says hes sees engagement as planning a wedding all as where i would be just happy being engaged at the min.. i know we cant afford a big wedding at the min but even a wee ring would be lovely and for him to ask me
im writing this on a whim and dont know if any of it makes sense as i understand my hormones have a lot to do with this too.. but he just sooo confuses me… if we were watching one of those celebrity planning tv things he says things like, you know our wedding cake has to be chocolate dont you… which makes me excited that he is still thinking weddings… but i just thought with our circumstances he would of wanted it too!!
Does this make sense???