Grad school wedding

posted 2 years ago in College
Post # 2
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s going to depend.  Some programs have schedules they follow; others depend on more independent research.  In your first year, though, you may have more of a schedule rather than research work, so that might be the time to do it.

What if you don’t get into the same school?  Are you applying only in one city, at different schools?

Post # 3
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

zoojitsu:  We’re getting married in the summer, but we’ll both be in grad school. FI will (hopefully) be doing an internship that summer, so we’re waiting and going on our honeymoon in August. He isn’t allowed to take much time off, and wouldn’t do it anyway, even if he could. If you can’t swing it with your program, why not wait and go in May when the semester is over?

Post # 5
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

zoojitsu:  My fiance is in grad school working on his PhD in clinical psychology and we are getting married in September. We are not going on our honeymoon until December when he has a break from school. In his experience, there is no way he could just skip out on school for a week, even for our honeymoon. I think even he got “permission” he wouldn’t because the work load is so heavy, he wouldn’t be able to catch up. It will of course depend on the program, but that’s our experience.

Post # 6
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I took off one week during grad school for the honeymoon and I’m in speech pathology. I’d definitely recommend just doing it over Christmas or Spring Break. Ours was is June but I had mandatory summer start. Thankfully it was the second week of class so we were just getting started with no tests or projects yet, but if it had been about two weeks laters I would have been screwed and doing projects and studying on the honeymoon. 

zoojitsu:  

Post # 7
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m graduating with my bachelor’s degree in December and getting married the first week of this coming September, right after the semester begins. FI and I decided to go on a mini moon for 2 nights, so that I don’t have to miss more than one day of class. I’m going to email my professors as the date gets closer just to make sure I won’t get penalized. We are planning on going on a longer vacation around Christmas when I’m done with school. Hope something works out for you guys! 

Post # 8
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yep! We got married this past March during my first year of a two year masters program and took a two week honeymoon. One week was my spring break from grad. school and the other I spoke with the director about missing a class and just scheduled my clinic rotations for that time mostly before the wedding so I would be ahead when I left. My program didn’t care because I’ve made a reputation on getting my work done early and doing it very well. One of our second years got married during the summer and did somethingsimilar  (we still have clinics in the summer). Good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 

zoojitsu:  Congrats on graduaing and on the upcoming wedding! Is it a priority for you two to take a honeymoon right away? Could you take a mini-moon now (just 2-3 days) and then plan on a bigger one later on (i.e. 1 year or when life opens up time?)

We got married last month and life is so crazy right now that we put our actually honeymoon off till next year when life will be less hectic. I just recently graduated with my bachlors in May and have started on studying for my CPA license, my husband is still in school and is graduating this fall and we have two kids. We took two days for ourselves to recoop from the craziness but then had to get back to the grind. We could have taken a honeymoon but with all the things going on we both agreed that we probably would be thinking of everything back at home and school and the kids to really enjoy ourselves.

Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

completely depends.  when i was in grad school, i wouldn’t have wanted to miss class if i didn’t have to, but i could miss a week if needed.  but definately not 2 weeks.

so if you want your wedding then, can you just delay your honeymoon until a break or summer?

(my honeymoon was 2 weeks)

Post # 11
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My brother in law was in law school when he married my sister. They got married in January right before the term started and went on honeymoon either during spring break or after the spring term ended. Either way, they delayed the honeymoon until they had time, and it worked out just grat for them.

Post # 12
Member
6872 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

zoojitsu:  I got married in March of this year and I’m in grad school. I took a week off and it wasn’t a big deal at all. Most universities give you 2 weeks of vacation time anyways. You’ll just have to evaluate your course load/TA responsibilities/grant deadlines. I’m sure if you let your advisor know your wedding date well in advance it won’t be a big deal… except if you’re taking classes. I’m done with classes so it wasn’t a big deal at all for me, but missing an entire week could be really tricky – especially if you have midterms or projects.

Post # 13
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

Sorry this is super late but I am now here. And currently in my first year PhD and it is killer, so if you will be similar here is my 2 cents:

There’s no way I would be able to personally plan anything while under the classwork/work load I have. I know for my program we take classes pretty structured for 2 years, and they get easier as we get further along. If yours is a similar type of program, I feel that after the 2nd year it wouldn’t be too much different from a “normal” job! Good luck! Such an exciting and fun time enjoy every single second it flys by!

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I haven’t yet, but I will be taking time off next March for my honeymoon.  I plan on letting my professors know ahead of time; that way I can stay organized and get my work done.  It will be my last year, so I’ll be doing my capstone (final project).  My philosophy is that I’m paying for school, so they can’t really do anything if I take time off.  I’d rather do it while I’m in school than when I get out and start a new job, and don’t have accrued vacation time for a while.  I’m probably crazy for getting married in my last year, but oh well!

Post # 15
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When I was in grad school, I would have planned a honeymoon around my class schedule if we had gotten married during the first 2-3 years when courses were still a big deal. For the remainder of the time, when it’s more research-driven, I would have just told my advisor with enough advance notice and gone whenever it wouldn’t have affected my experiments because after the first couple years I had a real IDGAF attitude about what my advisor thought of me. I was a postdoc in a different lab by the time I got married, and we took a 2-week honeymoon after I’d only been working there a few months. My boss was pretty great about it — jokingly said, “Ok, THIS time it’s fine, but next time you get married, no honeymoon!” Then proceeded to devote meeting time to helping plan the itinerary, lol.

But it depends 100% on the relationship you have with your advisor and your experiment/field research schedule of course. My postdoc supervisor was awesome and knew it would not interfere with my lab schedule, but my PhD supervisor was a PITA so it would have been more stressful in those days.

These are the kinds of insights you and your fiance can get when you visit schools as prospectives. Make sure you have a chance to talk to current grad students about the culture in that advisor’s group, etc. — I wouldn’t specifically ask about honeymoons, but you can get a lot of information about an advisor from their students. I know I was always brutally honest, lol.

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