Post # 1
My grandfather and I are very close. He has been sick for awhile now and was just diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Originally our wedding was September 30th of this year but we ran into some finance issues and post poned it and have not made a new date yet. Now with the news of my grandfather I want to fullfill his dream of seeing me get married. We have nothing prepared, no money saved, and nothing in order. I dont know what to do. People are suggesting just get a JP and marry in front of him and both of our parents and do another ceremony later on, but I feel like having a second ceremony afterwards wouldnt feel real since wed technically already be married. I cant think completely straight right now and I honestly have no idea what the best options are. Advice please?
Post # 3
@MandaL: I think you should have the wedding you want, when you can afford to have it. I suspect that your grandfather would rather you get married after he passes or when he is really sick than to have you rush through it and have it be not what you want. I’m sorry to hear he has been diagnosed at such a late stage.
Post # 4
my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer 3 months before our wedding. She was expected to live 6-12 months. 3 weeks before the wedding she took a turn for the worst. We got on a plane and 36 hours later got married by a JP in front of just a small group of close family friends, his mom and stepdad, my brother, his sister, my dad and my mom in her hospital bed. It was in a hospital and was the last thing I ever wanted… but my mom was there smiling. We got photos with her and she was happy. It was the last day she was really with it. our cake was from the local supermarket, my brothers girlfriend and I made our bouquets from supermarket flowers, I wore a plain white (totally not bridal) dress and my husband work khakis and a button down shirt with a tie, my brother and his girlfriend (who has been like a sister to me for years) were our best man and maid of honor, and it was by all normal definitions a horrible wedding. That being said, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My mom got to see us get married, and I have a photo of her with my entire family (old and new) smiling. She passed away a few days later. We still had the wedding we had been planning 2 weeks after her passing, but I can’t imagine not having her see us get married.
Post # 5
so sorry to hear this 🙁 your family is def in my prayers! *hug*
Post # 6
@MandaL: You can definately pull together a quick low budget wedding. The most important thing is that you are getting married to the person you love in front of your loved ones. Whilst we all want the bells and whistle really that is just the pagentry and isn’t at all important to the end goal! People all around the world get married without the big ceremony and reception all the time- the western world just puts such an emphasis on that stuff. I think it would be good to weight up what is more important to you- the big wedding or having your grandfather there? The only peopel that can make the decision are you and your FI.
Does anyone in your family have a house with a great bakyard for the wedding? or a local park or community hall? Can you purchase an off the rack or second hand dress? Is there a local catering company that can do a picnic lunch (or even family because I think in this case it is definately acceptable to request some help from family). Or if you are a member of a church community can they help to pull off a small wedding?
Good luck and I am so sorry to hear of your bad news.
@trueblue39: I am sorry that your mother passed away. I am sure she loved being able to see you get married.
Post # 7
Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I thankfully do already have a dress, my aunt bought we one as a gift, its the only thing I actuyally have settled. I priced a local park and its 75 dollars and itll fit 60 people. I have family willing to help with food and my MO will help me make things for it. We are both very crafty. Its just so stressful having to rush everything on top of not knowing when my grandfather will go. I have so many things rushing in my mind.
Post # 8
My fiancé’s gradnfather/closest thing he had to a father was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer and passed 3 weeks after his diagnosis. It is one of my biggest regrets that he will not get to see Ryan’s wedding.
I say yes have your dream wedding, but include your grandpa in it as much as you can, show him things you know he’d love to see.I wish i would have brought him our engagement picture or maybe shown him pictures of the venue.
The first thing said to my fiancé and I after he passed was “he was so excited to see your wedding” and that hurts the most. So make sure you just include him as much as you can.
Post # 9
I’m so sorry. *HUGS*
I don’t have any real advice, but I just wanted to say that I know how you feel.