(Closed) Grandma wearing white to the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
14750 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just let it be.  But that is very rude of her, you would think that a grandma would be pleased to let the focus be on the bride.  I used to have a grandmother just that way, when my parents got married she even showed up to the wedding packed to go “on vacation” with my parents (their honeymoon). 

Post # 4
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That’s pretty rude of her. Do you have another relative that could step in and let her know that she’s being inappropriate?

Post # 5
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ironically, I’m watching an episode of Bridezillas in which the mother of the bride was told to find any black and white dress, given that it’s mainly black. Instead she bought an all white dress! The bride and mother both flipped at each other! 

You’re request isn’t selfish or dictating in any way! It’s a respect thing! I’ve actually said out loud that I will have NO problem kicking anyone out of the ceremony/reception who is too drunk or acting a fool. I just might have to kick people out for wearing the wrong things! 

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Trust me, no one is going to mistake Grandma for the bride!  Most people may think she looks a bit ridiculous, but that’s her problem, not yours.  Can you have your mom talk to her?  We had a similar problem with 85 year old step-Grandma for my son’s wedding next month.  She hates to shop so she wanted to wear something that she already had in her closest.  She first showed me an ivory suit which I had to tell her she couldn’t wear because I explained to her that only the bride wears white.  She acted all surprised which I knew was phony because she is like Miss Manners.  She then proceded to show me the same aqua dress she wore to my other son’s wedding 3 years ago.  Again I said no.  Finally she showed me a powder blue sheath dress she wore to her daughters wedding 10 YEARS ago! Sigh.  I gave up and said okay because at least it isn’t white!

Post # 8
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If there is no one she will listen to and it addressing it will cause even more drama I would just leave it.  I agree with futuremominlaw that it will only reflect poorly on her – no one will blame you.  And nobody will mistake her for the bride!

And wow, expecting to go on the honeymoon is outrageous!!

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think this is totally ridiculous of grandma, however, hopefully her dress is very grandma-like and won’t look AT ALL like a wedding dress. Either way, I dont think it’s cool. You didn’t say if you could get your mom to talk to her? Maybe she can wear a colored jacket or something. I just don’t get why family wants to wear white! My mom wore red and was concerned I’d think it was too bold for her. Sheesh. It ain’t white and it ain’t head to toe sequined! Those were my only rules for my MIL and my mom–don’t be more sequined than me (i think it’s strange when the MOB/MOG dresses are more formal than the bridal gown)!

LOL my parents said something about how if we did the destination wedding they wanted (and said they’d pay for, but we’d turn it down), it would be fun because we COULD ALL HANG OUT. And mom promised they’d leave us alone. Yeah right. I could NEVER expect my parents to fly to Jamaica and stay less than 2 weeks, even if it was for OUR wedding and we were there on OUR honeymoon. Man, they have boundary issues =]

Nobody will blame you. However, I can guarantee that most of the guests will think your grandma has no manners or tact =. Maybe your mom can mention that to her–i know MY grandma was UBER concerned about what others thought of her!

Post # 10
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

My fiance’s 83 year-old grandma is wearing an ivory suit that she just bought. I honestly don’t know what she and my future MIL were thinking (they bought it togehter) but I don’t think anyone will mistake her for the bride!!! They’re Scottish (like live in Scotland) so there may be different ettiquette rules with not wearing white. Ce la vie.

Post # 11
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

That is really rude- I would have maybe your mom or dad talk to her, because that was very selfish of her.

Post # 12
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Hi, I agree that maybe someone could tell her that people will think SHE has no manners/tact.  Maybe you could gift her a colored jacket! hee hee 🙂

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ecorachel – I’m scottish and can assure you white at a wedding is a massive no -no!

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