(Closed) Grandparents might not attend

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it’s possible that your grandparents don’t want to commit because they’re worried about something preventing them from coming and not wanting to disappoint you. My grandmother did that for months before my wedding. Maybe you can put a pin in the topic until a bit closer to the wedding when you need the official RSVP/finalizing programs/finalizing guest counts and then let them know you need a firm decision. You can let them know that you will be very sad if they’re unable to attend, but you need them to make a final decision. At least then you’ll know one way or another. I can tell you it’s worse not to know.

If it makes you feel any better, my grandfather said he was coming and then just decided not to get into the car with my parents the day before the wedding when they were driving to my city (where the wedding was being held). I had no idea that he wasn’t coming until I called my mother and she clued me in. I’m crying in a good portion of my wedding photos because I was so devastated. I hope that at least you can know before hand and brace yourself either way.

Post # 4
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have any grandparents but Fiance has two grandmothers. One is very feeble and doesn’t move well. We didn’t expect her to drive six hours to our wedding. The other one though…she lives four houses down from his family home. Everyone in his immediate family will be here and would drive her. This is a woman who drives a farther distance twice a year to stay with her sister in Chicago for several weeks at a time. She goes to the cabin, drives herself to town, organizes the church volunteers, etc. And she isn’t coming. No explanation, not even a word on the RSVP, just “No.” His aunt who he is very close to also isn’t coming and she and her husband are comfortably retired. FI’s mom passed away this spring and her mom and her sister have always been close to Fiance but not close enough to drive to his wedding. I have absolutely no advice but can commiserate. The one (slightly jaded) thing I’ve learned in this process is that you can’t teach tact, you can’t make yourself matter to anyone and you can only take care of yourself. So if they don’t come, they don’t come. But I know personally we won’t be going out of our way to make it to a weekend at the cabin this summer.

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