Post # 1
So, my grandfather had open-heart surgery today and is (THANKFULLY) doing well.
He told me (when I spoke to him on Thanksgiving) that he was scheduling the surgery for after the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays and that I should expect him to be in surgery in mid- to late-January. My aunt confirmed this.
Well, that was a total lie, and they both knew it going into it. I received a voicemail today at work from my aunt saying that my grandfather had just gotten out of surgery and his heart was beating on its own, so he was (overall) doing well.
FOR THAT, I AM OBVIOUSLY GRATEFUL.
They both purposely told me a future date so that I wouldn’t worry. Becauuussseee… my mother (a.k.a. my best friend) passed this July and it was absolutely devastating to our entire family. But it doesn’t end there. Loooong story short, my grandfather has lost his wife, only son, and daughter in four years’ time. My aunt has lost her only sister and brother, and her mother, and I have lost my uncle, grandmother, and my mommy.
So, I more than understand the intent, but I can’t help but feel hurt.
Vent/sadness over 🙁
Post # 3
@jwdesiree: Aw, I’m sorry for your losses, but glad your grandpa is doing well! I would definitely be upset if they’d done the same to me, but I know their intentions were good! Since July 2008, I’ve lost 2 uncles, 2 great-grandparents, and 1 grandma (she just passed in March and was almost like a 2nd mom to me). It’s going to be so weird not having her here this Christmas, but she lived a long, happy life & I have lots of happy memories with her so I’ll get through it!! I hope you and your family can have a happy, peaceful Christmas with lots of great memories of those who have passed, and a speedy recovery for your grandpa!!
Post # 4
@kayl226: Thank you so much (and I am ALSO so, so sorry for your losses… my Christmas is going to be so strange and emotional without my mama).
I know I shouldn’t be upset about/by it, but I am 🙁 I just wish I knew the real story. I would’ve been losing sleep, absolutely, but at least I’d be kept in the loop! God forbid something went wrong during his surgery…
Post # 5
@jwdesiree: Ah, I know! I just thought about that.. if something went wrong, you would have had no idea! 🙁 I guess there’s really no good way to deal with loved ones and major surgeries/health concerns. I hate when someone in my family is having surgery/had an accident/really sick and I’m just left to worry about it constantly, but I would also hate NOT knowing they were in that state! Uuugh! Thankfuly, his surgery went well! Hopefully they don’t leave you out of the loop if anything happens in the future! :/
Post # 6
It is lucky that everything went well because that would have been terrible if something went wrong and you weren’t even aware of the fact that he was in surgery! I’m just glad everything worked out for the better, but maybe you should talk to your grandpa and aunt about keeping you in the loop next time. Try to turn it around on them by saying you could better adjust your schedule to visit/help out after surgery/etc.
Post # 7
A few years back, my dad was going in for a simple surgery to put a stent in an aenurism that was a bit too large for the doctors comfort. He casually mentioned it to some family members as well and after 4-6 hrs, he’d be awake and home in a day or two. I was told this a couple of days before the surgery. Unfortunately shit went sideways during surgery and what should have taken no more than 6 hours resulted in over 18hrs in the OR, almost 3 months of a pseudo-coma another month in ICU and 3 more in rehab. The risk was obviously there, and I’m sure he knew it. The thing is that many people believe the stress of worrying is unnecessary and issues can dealt with when they happen rather than fearing the worst. I still don’t know how I feel about how it all went down because there were a lot of things I had to prepare for (talking to family, will, taxes, paperwork, etc etc) while everything was going on. Some people are private and don’t want to feel like burdening others. I wouldn’t hold it against them, but perhaps tell them how hurt you are by it. If you’re prone to worry, and they know it though, I understand their reasons. Stress kills, I’ve seen it and it’s scary.
Post # 8
@sxcwed: Everyone that knows me knows that I worry … probably too much. This has been an eye-opener for me.
Thanks for the reality check 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I understand how you must feel, but they clearly had their reasons for doing it this way. That’s a lot of grief in a short span, so I would really just be glad he’s ok and forgive and forget the rest.
I’m really happy to hear he’s doing well, by the way. 😀
Post # 10
@prahajess: Thank you 🙂 Yeah, I just feel a bit… babied, I guess? I know they had the best intentions and I’m SO SO happy that I didn’t have to worry, but, I wish I was kept in the loop.