Post # 1
Hello, I’ve been lurking for a few months and just joined. I’m getting married in September and the whole name change business has been awfully tough for the fellah and I. While he has a very cool, unique last name I always feel uncomfortable with the idea of changing mine.
He really really wants me to change it, the usual ‘feeling rejected’ etc. Though he knows my name will have no effect on our future and happiness, and as I’ve pointed out I certainly never felt like I wasn’t part of my family even though I’ve never had the same last name as my mother.
So after many many discussions we’ve come to an agreement. I will be adding his last name as a Second middle name and keeping my last name, he will be adding my last name as his second middle name.
I think it’s really great and when the time comes I’d like to have my last name as a second middle name for our kids.
Post # 3
I think that’s a great compromise. And I think it is awesome that he’s willing to add your name as a middle middle name.
My FI was a little taken aback when I first mentioned I would keep my name but he’s come around and fully respects my decision now.
Post # 4
My coworker and her husband did this exact same thing!! I think it’s a great compromise. The only thing to know in advance is that your FI will likely have to go to court to petition to leally change his name. I can’t remember what my coworker said the exact process was, but apparently it is more involved for a man to change his name.
Post # 5
Some friends of mine had another great idea for a compromise. They both had fairly short names. We’ll just say their names were Susie Smith and Craig Carr. They ended up BOTH changing their last names to their newly created one, and so after marriage, they became Mr. and Mrs. Craig Carrsmith. It worked out really well!
Post # 6
You will both actually have to get a court petition. Since you are adding his name as a second middle name (not as a last name) this is not covered by your marriage certificate. It sounds like you guys have come up with a compromise that really works for you both, just be aware that it will be a bit of an involved process.
Post # 7
@GreenEyedMoon: I’ve heard of that before and think it’s awesome. I keep telling McGroom that we;re going to be McMylastname.
Post # 8
@Moose1209, that totally makes sense. Thanks for the correction
Post # 9
I think that’s a great compromise! We actually wanted to do the same thing but like Moose said, you have to go through the courts. Unfortunately that was just too much hassle at the time so we skipped it. Who knows, maybe we’ll do it as an anniversary present down the road. 🙂
ETA: I just re-read what Moose just said and actually (in Wyoming at least) I didn’t need to go through the courts to change my middle name to my maiden but he did. (And WY calls herself the Equality State! 😉 ) I believe it would have been the same if I had just wanted to add it as a second middle as well.