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I'm getting married in the NC mountains, and originally was looking for something similar to what you described. I spent a ton of time researching inns and b&bs and whatnot. If you haven't looked here, yet, it's a good bet. You can do a search for inns that host weddings. There are a couple of lodges that may fit your bill.
http://www.bbonline.com/nc/weddings.html
The major problem that I had -- and it looks like you'll run into it, too -- is that I wanted to find a place that had room for everyone, or nearly everyone because all of our guests will be traveling, without it being too much of a standard hotel, too much of a wedding factory or an uber posh place that our guests wouldn't easily be able to afford. I ended up compromising a bit with my fiance and we went with the Switzerland Inn. I thought it looked cheesy online -- a swiss chalet that looks bavarian?? -- but it was much nicer in person, had room for everyone, a spectacular view and great food. Their rates have gone up a bit, but it may fit your budget.
I was looking for the exact same thing for my wedding and I found a place that you may like. It is called The Garden Retreat and it is about an hour from Asheville in the middle of the forest. The property is gorgeous! There is even a little waterfall and swimming hole.
The people that own it are very laid back and open. They let you do everything however you want it. You are basically just paying for the property. Meals and everything else are up to you.
There is a very cute llodge with four bedrooms but several other rooms with foutons and pull out couches. They said the lodge can sleep up to 25 if you pack everyone in. Depending on how adventerous your guests are, there is also plenty of camping space on the property. The campsite does have a bathouse with a hot shower and flushing toilet so it is not roughing it too much. There are even two tipis that you can stay in. That is where my fiance and I will be staying. For the rest of your guests who won't fit in the lodge and are not the camping type, there is a hotel 20 min away.
There are plenty of outdoor things to do there. We will be taking a white water rafting trip the day before the wedding.
The price is unbeatable! We have the complete property to ourselves and our guests Thursday through Sunday for only $3500. I looked a lot and could not find any where else that would fit that many people for that price.
The only drawback that I have come across so far is that there is not a building on the property big enough to house the reception so you will need to rent a tent for that. Also be aware that it is not a fancy bed and breakfast type place. It is very down to earth and rustic but very sweet.
The website is www.thegardenretreat.com, although the website really does not do the place justice.
I hope that helps!
Have you looked for YMCA camps? That sounds like what you are looking for.
Or places that cater for family reunions and church retreats and such/
http://www.uniquevenues.com/facil.microsite.cfm/facil_id/561195
http://www.angelsrestretreat.com/index.asp
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Don't know if your still looking for mountain places, but there is a place called Cottages of Glowing Hearth in Vilas NC that is gorgeous. The website is www.glowinghearth.com they only have 5 cottages, but a hotel is not far and each cottage has a kitchen to cook. This place is a hidden gem (the views are to die for) and therefore usually available. And they would probably do whatever you wanted vendor wise or DIY, so it would be a perfect fit. If we had a smaller wedding we would def be doing it there. Hope you find something.
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My fiancee and I live in Boston but are looking for a beautiful outdoor setting for a wedding sometime in 2010. We're targeting 80-120 guests and are looking for somewhere where most of the guests can stay for the weekend and we can do pretty much everything but the ceremony and reception ourselves. We're hoping to cook our own rehearsal dinner and play games Friday night. Wake up Saturday for breakfast and have the ceremony and reception on site, hopefully outdoors or in a barn.
Most of the sites we can find online want to run everything through their system and while we're happy to engage a reasonably priced caterer for Saturday night we really want to do it ourselves the rest of the time.
Does anyone have any recommendations for camps or farms or something else we haven't thought of that might fit the bill? We're trying to stay under $10,000 for our total budget so it's certainly not an easy find.
Thanks in advance!