Weddingbee boards

So, FH and I are both Greek, so we are literally having a seriously big fat Greek wedding. I need advice from my non-Greek bees about the meal. Some background: When picking our venue, we knew we wanted to serve a Greek meal, as 60-70% of our guests are Greek (and because, duh, we're Greek and wanted the food to be!). When we picked our venue, they did not do outside catering at ALL. However, we told them we'd go elsewhere then because that was a priority for us and we had a Greek caterer and everything. Of course, they changed their tune (lesson: try to bargain!) and said we could bring our caterer in but we'd have to pay a head charge per meal of I believe $25 a person. Believe it or not, even paying that PLUS our caterer's cost pp, the cost pp for a plated meal is STILL loads less than it would have been to use our venue's menu/food. 

 So this is our meal, though it's in the works: 

Greek apps, Greek Salad, a Greek soup (which will likely be replaced b/c of the heat in August, doesn't seem like a good idea), then the meal is lamb chops (which actually aren't strictly Greek but our caterers are fabulous so we picked them), a greek pasta dish, and a vegetable. That is the only meal and we aren't offering a choice. 

We are, however, aware that some guests are vegetarians or really won't want a greek meal, so we are offering a vegetarian, American option. However, because the cost per plate of that is super duper expensive, we don't want it to be an actual "option" in the typical sense. We'll likely put on the menu "A vegetarian meal is available upon request" unless we decide to put the name of the meal, whatever we pick. But we don't want a zillion of guests to just choose to forego the greek meal in fear that it will be gross or something and I'm worried if we put the name of the American choice on the menu, a lot of people will do that, and our cost will skyrocket.

So, what is your opinion about this? Would you be more likely to pick the american meal if the name of it was on the menu as an option? Or only if you were a vegetarian or picky eater? Do you think this is really inconsiderate of us and a bad move? Should we not even bother printing anything else so guests don't think there's an alternative, assuming vegetarians would just ask the server? Please let me know because my parent's and FH's parents aren't too concerned about it since they're old-school Greeks, but he and I kind of are.

Thanks so much! 

Don't assume vegetarians will ask the server. I, for the most part, don't eat meat and if there wasn't an option on the menu for a vegetarian meal I would feel really awkward asking about it, especially at a wedding or another function because I would assume there wasn't one available, and probably just would eat bread rolls all night.

I think you are absolutely right to not put what the actual veggie meal will be because then people will just assume they can have either the greek or the american meal. I think if you list the greek meal on the menu and then in smaller print, put "vegetarian option available on request". Then the veggies and picky eaters won't feel awkward asking for it and other people will know it is a special meal and not a regular option.

@aleoweha- Good call, thanks!! I myself hardly ever eat meat either (not a vegetarian though) and have done both: given my FI my steak when an option wasn't offered, not thinking to ask, and asked if there was a vegetarian option when I saw someone at another table get one. But you're right, not all guests would. I like the idea of the smaller print, that could definitely work. Thanks! 

Oh yeah forgot to mention I already got our invites printed and didn't put an option, or a comment about vegetarians letting us know. I think we'll figure that the venue should have enough vegetarian meals ready for maybe 10% of total # of guests... does that sound right?  15%?

I think it sounds fab!  Your guests will love to attend a big fat Greek wedding!  I am not at all Greek, but I lived in Greece growing up and LOVE Greek food, especially fried zucchini and pastitsio (sp?).  I actually wanted to incorporate Greek food in our wedding b/c it's such a big part of my life.  Unfortunately, our caterer is a typical caterer, so we had to settle for some generic Mediterranean apps.  Whatever works! 

Yay, thanks for all the great comments! I feel better now! It's hard to tell if people will like it or not but now I think there's a better chance. I can think of definitely two of our guests that might not (a couple that is very picky) but other than that, hopefully we'll be ok. 

@grey56- thats awesome you lived in greece! the greek "pasta" that i mentioned is actually going to be pastitsio, though we're not sure if that's a good choice or too heavy for late august. we really want it though!!  

@ ms rye bread- Our greek caterer can make a vegetarian option (like moussaka- falafel is actually middle-eastern/lebanese! - and yummy too!) but we think it's best that the vegetarian option is more American.. don't you guys think?

so while this menu sounds delicious to me, and i would be really into it, i know a lot of people who DO eat meat don't like lamb.  It's something of an acquired taste for some people, especially those who find gamey flavor unpleasant.  Also there are people who eat meat, but not red meat.  If you were offering chicken it would be different, but I think there's a reasonable expectation that many of your nonvegetarian guests either won't eat lamb or won't eat red meat.  That's just something to consider.

@ amandopolis- You bring up a good point. We picked the lamb chops because they were serioulsy amazing- and I am one of those people that doesn't usually eat red meat- even steak/burgers. I just don't like it- but they are SO good. I appreciate your comment though, and when we meet with our caterer I might see about taking out the soup course and instead doing an option of like a lemony chicken... I can't remember, but I think that really upped the cost (a choice) which then negated making it less expensive than the venue's meal, especially with paying the per head cost to the venue... but I will definitely check. Thanks!

Oh, there will be printed menus, so the meal won't be a surprise as soon as they sit at their seats. I suppose if they REALLY hated lamb... they could ask for the vegetarian option?  

I am responding again to say that I am one of the people who likes and often eats meat, but I think lamb is gross.  It has a weird taste to it.  BUT.  I am also not a party-pooper and I would totally suck it up and try it, especially at a wedding!!  And if I didn't like it, I'd eat the pastitsio, which really is a meal in itself.  I would also try  moussaka, even though I don't like eggplant either.  Yeah, I'm sorta a picky eater I guess. 

Seriously, I think if you're going to go Greek, then go all the way.  People can always manage to find something they can eat if they're starving.  Greek salad is pretty standard nowadays, so they can fill up on that.  I don't know, it doesn't really seem like a big deal to me.  I get the vegetarian thing, but I would still have it be Greek. 

And please tell me you're having tzatziki (sp???) because I love that stuff.  Hmm.  Can I come to your wedding?!?!?!?

If I were your guest I'd appreciate the option of the vegetarian meal because I don't/won't eat lamb nor the food it's touching (I'm crazy picky & I don't like the idea that lamb used to be a cute baby animal - not that I'd throw a fit or anything! LOL I just wouldn't eat it). As such I wouldn't ask if there was another option because (IMO) that would be rude of me. BUT I would eat whatever else was there (Salad, pasta, etc.) and if there wasn't much I'd like I'd just stuff myself full of cake later! LOL It is your wedding though so you should do what you want to do but keeping the guests in mind is always a nice gesture. I guess I don't have any advice for you! :)

I love greek food! Love it!! I think your meal entree sounds so good. With that said, if you know right away that some guests don't eat lamb, are vegetarian or something I would put it on the meal selection card. Even if it is more expensive which it is kind of weird that a vegetarian plate would be more expensive then a lamb plate. Can you ask them to sub something on their standard veggie meal so it will be cheaper?? But regardless I think you should have an option, like another poster said if they want something else they are going to write it on the rsvp card or just suck it up and think they don't have a choice. But I would give them the option of selecting it on the rsvp card. If I did not eat lamb, and was not given the info on the alternate meal until I saw someone else eating it I would be irritated, because I would not eat the lamb, be eating less food, and then be jealous of the people that were in the know about the lamb alternative meal. I would never express my discontent, but would be irritated. I just don't feel hiding it from your guests is is a good idea. 

Wow! Thanks for all the comments! I can't even write directly to you guys individually because there is so much to address! First off, thanks SO MUCH for your feedback. I am most certainly going to see if the caterer will make moussaka as an option and then maybe we actually DO serve a choice, but its not a choice thru the venue, so it shouldn't jack up the price too much. We would then have a full description of it so people know what's in it. I just keep thinking of this one couple that is SO PICKY and they will be miserable with those two choices, ughh. But I don't think I can base the entire thing on them. Right? 

Umm let's see.. yes we have a website, not a bad idea about putting it on there, though I don't know how many people will check our website to be honest. We're not putting it on the invite card, though I guess we could include it with the directions (which I'm DIYing). Yes, we will be having a full spread of greek apps, including tzatziki, tarama, skorthalia, olives, feta, etc etc.  That will be buffet-style during the coctail hour. THere will also be some passed apps that are more American. The soup was going to be avoglemono (lemon/rice) but when we made this menu it was going to be winter, so we're going to nix that. Possibly do nothing there and instead have the option. The meal is plated. Desserts will be a plate of greek pastries at every table, (regular, American) Wedding cake - chocolate, I think, per my fiance's biggest request- and a loukoumades stand, for those of you who know what loukoumades are. 

We're really excited about this caterer we found, he's Greek himself and is really excited about doing this wedding- he usually caters Indian weddings. So that's why we really want this to be a huge part of the night, but for those American guests, I just will feel terrible if they end up hating it... I guess it's no different than just having bad regular food at a Wedding though, right? Which happens somewhat often..  

Thanks again for all your help!! 

You're right, my FI and parents keep saying not to worry about them but I just know the girl in particular is such a whiner.. she literally has gone to showers and made a big fuss about how there was nothign she could eat- she's lactose intolerant, and very very picky on top of that... But in the end that's just not my problem. They are the kind of couple that basically only likes Nachos and burgers or plain chicken.. so oh well.. Oh and they are not the in-laws, its one of the Groomsmen and his wife. I'll definitely post pics!