(Closed) greenback wedding??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it ok to "directly" request money, or any other gift for that matter, as a wedding gift??
    Sure it is..Why is that any Different Than Registering Your Choices At BedBath and Beyond?? : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Only If The Gifter "Asks You " What you would Like as a Gift. : (27 votes)
    63 %
    ABSOLUTELY NOT....HOW RUDE..What would Miss Manner's Think??? : (13 votes)
    30 %
    I'm Not committing to this question or marriage anytime soon!!! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2765 posts
    Sugar bee

    Are greenback weddings common in your area?  Sometimes I am surprised by how regional certain wedding customs are…

    Post # 4
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Etiquette states that no mention of gifts or money should be included on an invitation. The best way to get the word out about registries, or in this case a "Greenback" wedding is to do it via word of mouth or on a wedding website!

    Post # 5
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t know if I would say it would be a "Greenback" wedding.  Could you possibly add something saying a money tree would be available?  Or something along those lines?  I know etiiquette states you shouldn’t mention anything about gifts on the invite, but if it’s common where you live and among your family and friends I don’t think it would hurt.

    Post # 6
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m sure dozens of people will post to tell you that you shouldn’t mention gifts of any kind in your invitations. You can spread by word-of-mouth or mention it on your website.

    Personally, I wouldn’t use the term "greenback", I would say something more like "we have chosen not to register at any stores. If you would like to get us a gift, a contribution to our house downpayment fund would be greatly appreciated as we are just starting out."

    Post # 7
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I think it’s fine to let people know by word-of mouth IF they ask and IF you think they wouldn’t be offended by the idea of giving money instead of a "boxed gift." But anything that indicates that a gift (including money) is expected of the guests is downright rude.  I would not put it on wedding invitations for sure, nor would I mention it to anyone who didn’t specifically ask.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I think it is very distasteful to call your wedding a ‘greenback’ wedding – it will cheapen the wedding iMO.  In any case, i think it is in very poor taste to ask for gifts, imply that you are asking for gifts, or mention your expectation of gifts in a wedding invitation.  I think it turns what should be an "invitation to join us to celebrate nuptials," into a card in the mail asking for a gift.

    Just my opinion

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    I would leave it off the invites, whatever you decide to call it, and just go with word-of-mouth. It would not go over well in the South. 🙂 You know how picky us Southerners are with our rules and whatnot. 😉 Good luck with that though. You’re a sweet mom to seek out opinions on this!

    Post # 11
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    I would leave it off the invited if it was me. BUT if FMIL is very insistent it might be better off just to do it . I personally think word of mouth is better.

    Post # 12
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee

    No mention of money or gifts, or even listing of the registries should be done on an invitation. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I would leave it off the invites, but that’s because I had no idea what a "greenback" wedding was until you explained it.  I have never heard that term!    Unless all of your guests are familiar/comfortable with that term, it might cause a lot of confusion.  If you HAVE to put something, I would word it in a way that is much clearer and more formal than "greenback wedding." 

    Post # 14
    Member
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Westwind YWCA camp

    It’s completely acceptable to ask for money instead of materials for wedding gifts.  I don’t know if calling it a "greenback" wedding is a good idea, though.

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