Groom doesn't want to wear boutineer – I want them!

posted 3 years ago in Accessories
Post # 3
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Sure, if they (the fathers and grandfathers) want to wear them.

Post # 4
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Those are nice, but they are a bit feminine looking. Is he opposed to the very idea or would he come round if it was a different design. Maybe get him to have some input into the design. 

Post # 5
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I  think he might prefer a different style. Could you surprise him with a boutonniere that reflected one of his interests or hobbies?

Fishing

Golf

music

Vegas

hunting

 

Post # 7
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

That’s realllly girly. My FI wouldn’t be excited either. I would try to find something more masculine.

Post # 8
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you did a wonderful job, but my husband wouldn’t wear that either. I made my men fabric flowers with vintage fishing lures pinned to them. They all loved them, and have all added the lures to their tackle boxes! They were stoked that it included something they could use later.

 

Post # 9
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Everyone is going to know who the groomsmen are, they are the guys in the matching suits/tuxes with the matching ties. I think you should let it go if he doesn’t like it. 

Post # 10
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My groom didn’t like the bouts I wanted to buy, & like you, I was eager to give him is way when he voiced a strong opinion on something, since he rarely gave two sh*ts about the wedding lol.

But, the bouts I wanted them to wear were absolutely PERFECT & the thought of them not wearing them would have made me cry. I compromised with him & told him I wouldn’t use any moss accents at our wedding (I love moss; he thinks it looks like puke) if he would wear the bout.

At the wedding everybody LOVED this bout, & he got so many compiments & now he is very happy I pushed it on him 😛

I love the bouts you made! If you genuinely adore them too, I would just tell him how you’ve put a TON of time & energy into the wedding, & the least he could do is show up wearing something you’ve requested.

Post # 11
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I wouldn’t make him wear one if he doesn’t want to. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah those are pretty feminine.  My SO wouldn’t touch that- I mean it’s covered in lace!  I recommend real flowers/greenery or some kind of alternative.  

Post # 13
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

does he not want to wear one at all or does he just  not want to wear those particular ones? i agree with the person above that said they’re pretty feminine looking

ETA: oh, i see you said above he doesnt like any of them. i don’t think you should make him wear one then.  maybe if they all have the same ties or something, they’ll already stand out as memberes of the wedding party

Post # 14
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry but they really are exceptionally girly and I can’t imagine my DH (a man with a fondness for pink shirts!) being prepared to wear your design. It might well be that your FI would be prepared to wear a buttonhole (as we call them in the UK) but you need to show him more options. None of them, with respect, that include lace or squashy pink roses. 

If he really doesn’t want to wear one them respect his views. It’s not as if anyone is going to confuse him with a random guest is it?

Post # 15
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Flip this around…how annoyed would you be if you didn’t want a bouquet but he insisted? Whose opinion would be the one to ‘win’?

Post # 16
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

If your groom is wesring a suit, could you get matching pocket squares for him and his groomsmen rather than boutonnieres?  I’m pretty sure if I tried to get my Fi to wear the above buttonhole,  he would strongly refuse becausebhe really hates crafty/DIY stuff.

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