Groom has 2 mothers… LONG. Help please!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Think it’s up to your FI to decide what he wants to do.

Post # 5
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@SouthernBee33:  I would say leave all decisions about this to your FI, for sure, because he’s the one who will know best how either of them will react in any given situation. That said, I don’t think it would be appropriate to, say, specifically ‘honour’ his biological mother in any way, though I think having separate first dances is absolutely fine. I would actually say that should be it.

The invitation wording, though, I have no idea. I’m not good with etiquette stuff like that, sorry 🙁

Post # 6
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SouthernBee33:  What does your FI want to do? I would say whatever makes him most comfortable you should make work. It’s really about him and who he wants involved and how, not the moms.

Post # 9
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d say it’s up to him really to choose whatever he is most comfortable with. As for me, I’d save the mother/son dance for the adoptive mother, because she is the one that was a mother to him, the other one was really more of a genitor and seeing her history, I’d we wary of her.

Post # 10
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have no idea what I’d do in your FI’s shoes becasue I cannot know how he feels, but IMO, I’d have bio mom as a guest.  And adoptive mom in the mom roles.  Not only is she paying but she was the one actually there for him while his mom now waltzes back into his life and she’s supposed to get honored, why?

That’s my opinion, but he has to do what feels right for him and no one can really tell him that.  

Post # 12
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SouthernBee33:  Your invitation can read what I found on google “Your love and friendship have helped us become who we are.

 

Together with our parents, we invite you to share our joy and support our love, as we exchange vows and celebrate our marriage.

her and him

Sunday 23rd August at 2 o’clock The Ashes, Endon, Staffordshire

A celebration with dinner, drinks and dancing will follow.

_______________________________________________

I say give both mothers flowers and have two separate dances. As far as who is escorted in have them both and both mothers sit in the front row and are introduceed at the reception as “Mother of the Groom” maybe

 

Post # 13
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@SouthernBee33:  I would agree with PPs. Discuss it with your FI. Really talk it out and see how comfortable he would be honoring his Biological mom. If you guys are able to come to a solution than that is great. If not, you can always ask his adoptive mom how she feels about the situation.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to honor her more than the adopted mom. His Bio mom may have given birth to him, but it sounds like thats really all she did. Adopted mom (and family) took him in when he needed it most and gave him a safe and loving environment to call home. 

What I would do: I would do the seperate dances (adopted mom first, bio mom second). I would add Bio Mom’s name to the program where family is listed. As for the invitation, I would probably list his adopted parents instead of his bio mom – I’ve always been under the impression that the people paying for the wedding are the ones listed.

Post # 14
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SouthernBee33:  Since the adpotive mother is paying, I would talk to her about how she feels about the biological mother.

Good luck dear! It will work out!!!

Post # 16
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@LuvMySailor:  This! I would definitely recommend wording the invitation like this. Its short, simple, and no one gets their feelings hurt.

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