Groom in black tux and groomsmen in gray?

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Tuxedos are black out midnight blue.  Grey Tuxedos will not give you a sophisticated look.  They are a current novelty.  I suspect they will evolve to become the American day time formal dress, but that is going to take 15-30 years, if it happens.  If you’re going to do grey, do suits.  Even better simply allow them to pick their own suits; men in similar suits, from their own closets, that fit properly, and they had ready and waiting for the occasion that called for them, will look more sophisticated.  That’s my $0.02.  I’m not trying to be harsh, and your view of sophisticated may well be different from mine.  Just my input on how I think it’s best to get the look you want.

Post # 5
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bride2BeeXoXo:  It will look like this- although these are suits not tuxedos and the grroms suit is charcoal on my computer not black.

In the real world, men have been wearing tuxedos in colors other than black and midnight blue for some time. We are not all stuck in the past.  It is not improper to cling to tradition but traditions change over time because someone has the ____ to be different.

 

Bride2BeeXoXo:  Your plan will look great.

Post # 3
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Our bridal party was the opposite. Groomsmen in Black and Groom in Grey. They all had the same vest/ ties (bridal color) to help pull it together.

Post # 4
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My fiance will be in a black tux and the groosmen will be in grey suits, which will also double as their groomsmen’s gifts. We feel that with well-tailored grey suits, our groomsmen will be able to pack more miles on them than a grey tux. It’s not like they’ll have a million other opportunties to rewear a grey tux. 

Post # 6
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Bride2BeeXoXo: I think it will look great! My preference would be to have my FI in a black tux and the groomsmen in gray, but I’m pretty sure he wants them all in black. My thought is that brides get to wear something different than their bridesmaids, so why shouldn’t grooms stand out a bit too?

Post # 7
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Another vote here for Groom in Black Tux and GM in grey suits. That’s what we’re doing.. like others have said, a well fit grey suit is going to look much better than any rental tux and we want somethng the guys will actually keep and be able to use again!

Post # 8
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

julies1949:  there were plaid ones in the 50’s, then black.  Pastels in the 70’s, then black.  For the last 7 or so years, there has been grey.  Variations come and go, but nothing new has actually attached itself to the Tuxedo fit good since about the 30’s.  That’s not to say they are wrong, since people don’t actually wear them to black tie events, but they are a novelty, at the moment, and I believe their origin is that people realize black isn’t a great day time colour, they want more than a suit, but morning dress is dead in North America, mostly.  But, if your goal, specifically, is sophisticated, then the traditional rules are the guidelines that sophisticated dressers follow.

Post # 9
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Duncan:  Thank God morning dress is dead in America. Not many men want to look like that anymore.

Post # 10
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

julies1949:  Actually it’s quite sad, and largely a result of North American culture convincing two or three generations of men that caring about clothing, made them effete, or gay (also that it continued to convince them that those are bad things.  Tailcoats that fit, are called body coats for a reason.  Few, if any, other garments flatter a man’s body to the same degree. 

Anyway, that’s really not the point.  Day time formal dress has been a void in North America for about 30 years, and the grey suit with silk facings seems likely to fill it, but these conventions take decades to establish, and they basically only exist as rentals right now, which pretty much makes my point.  There is no demand for them among those that would have the means to purchase them readily, or the occasion, to wear them frequently. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Duncan.
Post # 11
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Duncan:  You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, although I abhor the reference to “looking gay”. There is no such look. Gay men have as many looks as heterosexual men.

Perhaps a more suitable term would be fop or dandy.

Post # 13
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Bride2BeeXoXo:  I think itll look great! My FI is wearing a beige color and the groomsmen in light grey. I think its cool when the groom stands out. I say go for it!

Post # 12
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

julies1949:  You missed the point, that that was exactly my point.  The result of that cultural attitude, that caring about clothing was a feminine quality (and therefore perceived as gay in men) , was three generations of men that made a progressively larger point of not caring about clothes.  This led tof the loss of much knowledge that would, otherwise, have been passed along the generations, and left many more traditions intact.  Plus men would look better.

Post # 14
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Duncan:  You perpetuate  a stereotype by repeating it. There are other ways to get your message across than by using offensive phrases.

There is  a huge difference between a man who cares about his appearance and one who is a fop or dandy, and just ends up looking silly, trying to be superior to all around him.

Definition of FOP : a man who cares too much about how he looks or dresses

no sexual preference needed<br />

Post # 15
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

julies1949:  At no point did I mention “looking gay,” or say anything about homosexuality.  I was taking about the societal attitudes regarding homosexuality, and how they impacted men’s awareness of style through the last 85 years or so.  Neither dandy, nor fop, is appropriate (and I am fully versed on their definitions, but thanks for looking them up for me) because the point is the vehement rejection of any care about clothing, and style, because the personality attribute, not their stylistic choices, might make them seem to be gay, and that they perceived being gay to be negative.  Discussing it without its full context is to whitewash history.

Avoiding uses of a teem, in discussion of very real cultural phenomena, is simply foolish.  Fearing to discuss it openly allows it to continue in silence.  Nothing is said could be construed, by any reasonable person, as perpetuating a stereotype.  Making reference, and comment, on the fact that it exists, and existed much more commonly and strongly, in the past, is how discourse is advanced, and attitudes changed.  Attempting to irradicate something by refusing to mention it, advances nothing.

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