Post # 1
Our wedding is a cocktail reception at a historic heritage manor. The best way I can describe the venue is that it’s a Titanic of a house–it’s huge, and each room has its own ambiance, so think the masculine smoking room with dark wood and red and leather, then the feminine veranda with pale blue walls and Wedgewood. The venue itself comes off as formal, but because we’re doing a cocktail reception and keeping the feel of the wedding light, we decided a long time ago that having only him in a full suit (not tux) and having his GM in matching pants and vests would be a good look, like so:
… except no white sneakers, hahah.
Anyway, we found a custom suit place that will make FI’s suit as well as the pants and vests for the GM. Then, suddenly, he says that he’s decided now he wants the GMs in just pants and white shirts. I’ve asked him why he’s changed his mind and he doesn’t really know, but he’s pretty set on it, while I’m… not. I feel that it’s just TOO informal for the venue we’re at. If we were doing a country wedding, sure, but I don’t think it’ll work, and that it’ll look a bit… unfinished in photos. At the same time, it would be cheaper for us, as we’re covering their attire.
What do you think? Should I just agree to let this one slide?
Post # 2
I think vests would be more formal.
However, if it is going to be really really hot- you might want to cut the guys some slack and let them wear just shirts.
Post # 3
plum_pudding: That’s fair about the heat. Our ceremony is outdoors, but it’ll be 15 minutes or so, and then we’ll be moving inside. Also, I’m 100% comfortable with them removing the vests and just being in shirts for the party, but I feel like it’s just… a bit too unformal for photos and the ceremony. Sigh. We’ll have to figure this out asap, because we’re going to put his suit order in tomorrow, hahah.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Easton's Beach Rotunda Ballroom
MrsRevolutionize: i’m with you thinking it will be informal…but from your groom’s point of view he probably just feels the guys are going to take the vests off anyways. Especially if it’s hot. My Fi is going with full tuxes but no vests for that reason.
Post # 5
Just shirts are nice.. but I voted for Vests because I absolutely love that photo!! I am trying to convince my Fiance to do just vests at the moment! Sometimes guys can be such a pain in the butt! Why oh why can’t they just agree with everything we want? 😉 haha. but in all reality I am letting my fiance make the decision on what the guys wear because it’s only fair… Good Luck 🙂
Post # 6
Vests and pants are not particularly more formal than just shirts, as it has no classical precedent. If you’re showing shirt sleeves, you’re not in a suit, period. I don’t think it makes a ton of difference, but who is buying the shirts? They need to fit perfectly, and be without darts, which means they should be altered for each groomsman, and that the alterations should be done from the side seams. There should also be a no suspenders decree, as showing suspenders does not fit, at all, with a wedding where the groom is in a suit. Whereas, with the vests, it should be the opposite, as one should not wear a belt with a vest, especially not for the formal look you’re aiming for.
Post # 8
I don’t think it would kill them to dress up (even slightly) for your wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
MrsRevolutionize: I think it will be fine, if that’s what he wants then it is what you should do.
And thank you for adding the just shirts option in the poll because that is exactly what I thought when you said it.
Post # 10
AmyBamy: this is the exact reason the cummerbund was developed for Black Tie, so the waistband, and working parts of the shirt can remain covered, without the warmth generated by the waistcoat.
Post # 11
We’re having ours just in shirts and I think it’ll be fine. I get what you mean about it possibly not matching the venue, though. Our ceremony is in a butterfly conservatory and it is HOT in there, so we were totally down with shirts. The rest of our wedding is super casual too, my dress included. I’d be a little more hesitant to do just shirts if our wedding was fancier! If it’s that important to your FI though, I’m sure it’ll be just fine 🙂
Post # 12
MrsRevolutionize: Groom’s friends, groom’s choice.
I think this is one area where the groom should have the final say, so long as it’s not too crazy. He doesn’t get to override you on the bridesmaids’ dresses (I assume), so I think you should let him have his way with the groomsmen’s attire.
Post # 13
aussiemum1248: That’s definitely been one of my considerations, yeah. Thanks for your input!
Post # 14
I think it would be cool if he was the only one in a vest, and the groomsmen were wearing shirts.