(Closed) Groom is driving me CRAZY – need to vent and your advise on tux

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I can’t get to the link! 🙁

Post # 4
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Asia_Leone:

I guess I get what you’re saying – the groom may not stand out as much as you’d like. However, the guy in the Rodriguez tux is wearing an awfully bright color, it might not be such an intense thing if your groomsmen aren’t in something that bold…

Post # 5
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oye, I totally see what you mean.  I would try to talk him into a differ tux either for himself or the groomsmen

Post # 6
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

if they switched that’d make more sense. that way he’s got the nice lining and theirs are plainer

Post # 8
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Ok finally got to the link. It’s hard to figure out because I keep imagining the groomsmen going to prom with that pink on! 🙂 I think it will ultimately be fine. If this is the only thing he really wants, then I say go for it.

Post # 9
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Its his outfit and he should get to choose what the groomsmen wear. Color wise he needs to know what the bridesmaids are wearing so they don’t clash. But I think you shouldn’t worry about the satin edges. I think you should be excited that he cares just as much about the wedding as you do.  In a marriage you have to compromise and this is good practice for both of you. So be happy that he’s excited about the wedding and WANTs involved. Remember that this is the only wedding he will ever get too.

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Meh. I disagree. The groomsmen are in a two-buttoned, notch lapel tux (not as formal) and the groom picked out the more classic, formal option for himself—one-button, peak lapel.  .   So you got six guys in a flashy modern (read: goes in and out of favor) tux and he will stand out because he’s the only “plain” (read: classic and elegant) one.

I guess I don’t get how he messed this up for you.  You wanted him in something unique.  He is: he’s the only one in a classic tux.  I guess maybe you want him in the flashier tux because he’s the groom. But he might not like the flashy modern tuxedos. If he put himself in what he likes (classic and subdued), and then had the task of putting the groomsmen in something different from himself, really his only option is to put them in something that is flashier. Also, there are about 5 different ways you can make him stand out since you you have ties, waistcoverings, pocket squares, the shirt and bouttenierres to fiddle with. Not to mention socks and studs and cufflinks. Also, he’ll be the one standing next to the bride.  Nobody’s going to lose him.

I don’t know… you’re bein’ way to hard on the fella. I think he did a respectable job.

Post # 12
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Asia_Leone: I agree with you that thats something you need to address. But the first question you need to ask him is why isn’t he checking with you? Is he afraid it will lead to a fight or that he won’t get what he wants? Is he trying to carve out a place for himself in the wedding? Or is this a repeated theme that you see not only with the wedding but in every day life?

My FI and I have had disccussions about similar situations. Not concerning the wedding… but he’ll go buy expensive things (not insane expensive just 100 maybe), make decisions at the vet about procedures without calling me etc. And for my FI he just wasn’t used to including other people… part of this behavior I think he learned from his parents and basically we have had to retrain the way he thinks… but he wasn’t doing it to be controling– it just didn’t occur to him to ask before doing something that I would consider “big”. So we had a big talk about it and it helped that I was able to point out that I DO call him before doing something, I at least keep him informed as to what is happening financially with me and I call him before “big” decisions etc

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