Post # 1
My fiance told me that he wanted to play the processional song on piano for when I walk down the aisle. So instead of waiting for that big moment when I appear after spending all day trying to look my best and watching me walk down the aisle while waiting for me at the front, he’ll either not be watching at all and playing piano, or he’ll be half-assedly looking up every so often while playing piano and not paying attention to me. And when I walk down the aisle, instead of being greeted by him I’ll be greeted by no one. Or the best man, I guess. Who people will probably assume I’m marrying since there’s no groom at the front.
Am I wrong for thinking this is a terrible idea? It just seems to really downplay the moment when he’s too busy doing something else. In my head I always imagined us to be smiling and looking at each other when I come down the aisle, not me looking at the side or back of his head and him looking at a piano.
Post # 3
Bad idea! I wouldn’t go for that at all!
Post # 4
I would stick with traditional and have him meet you at the end…if he really wants to do a song maybe it can be done at another point, not the most impoartant part 🙂
Post # 5
I think your post sounded a little harsh…I’m sure his intentions are good, but have you explained to him your vision? How it is important for you to see him as you are walking down the aisle and vice versa? Does he have a way of playing something and recording it so you can play it as you’re walking down?
Post # 6
Its a sweet gesture but I wouldn’t be down for this.
Post # 7
Since you dont like the idea, then its a bad idea. If you both wanted it, then I would say go for it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
I think it’s sweet, but I definitely wouldn’t go for it either.
Is there anyway you could record him playing it before the wedding day and then play it on some speakers or something when you walk down the aisle? You could include a note about it in your program or something.
ETA: Just saw a PP mentioned that, haha great minds think alike 😉
Post # 9
I guess I get it, but maybe he can record it. Tell him you expect him to be too busy with tears of joy to be able to play.
Post # 10
@helenberrycrunch: YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 11
I went to a wedding where the groom was a concert pianist and he opted to play a processional he wrote specifically for the bride as she came in… I thought it was beautiful and touching, but understand why it’s not exactly the moment you want for coming down the aisle. Is there a compromise somewhere? Can he play a love song somewhere else in the ceremony?
Post # 12
I know my post was harsh, but I was greatly offended by what he wanted to do. I hate churches, I hate large crowds, and I’m extremely self conscious and I hate it when people look at me. Being in a church and having 150-200 people stand up and stare at me and judge my appearance is stuff my nightmares are made of. The thought of the ceremony terrifies me. The only thing that comforted me was that on the other side of the aisle my fiance would be there smiling at me and I could just focus on reaching him. When he suggested that he would be playing the piano and wouldn’t be looking at me or waiting for me at the end, it crushed me. It just made me feel bad that everyone would be looking at me except for the only person that matters.
I did come to the conclusion that it’s a sweet gesture after my intial reaction of feeling abandoned, however the processional song we currently have picked out is his first choice(canon in D), not mine, so the meaning of playing a song I don’t care for is lost on me. Especially when having him waiting for me and not preoccupied with something else is so much more important. I’m half expecting to walk into the room, see all the people looking at me, and pee myself!
I told him he could play at any other time during the ceremony but he’s not being very responsive. I thought of him recording it as well, but I’m waiting for him to no longer be mopey before I suggest it.
Post # 13
You have a vision of the two of you up the front but he has a vision of playing piano as you come in. Either one of you will have to give up your vision, or you both do and come up with a new one. If you choose the former, I think whoever gives up their vision on this gets to decide on another big decision you disagree on.
For example, I wanted to walk down the aisle with FH. He told me he has a vision of seeing me walk down the aisle, etc. (the whole traditional shebang) and it seemed really important to him so we’re going to do that. However, he wanted to wear an orange suit. I said I had my heart set on a light blue one and since I gave up the walking down the aisle thing, he’s (at least at this point) going to wear a light blue suit.
Post # 14
You’re right…really really bad idea! He should be focused on you. Maybe he could play you a song at the reception or something?
Post # 15
@hatmanandbobbin: “he wanted to wear an orange suit”
LOL… I’m glad you won that battle!
Post # 16
I went to a wedding last summer where the groom played the piano before anyone walked down the aisle. He walked to the front and told a story about how they were studying abroad and the piano was in the computer lab. Before they knew each other, everytime she would come into the computer lab, he would play the same song that reminded him of her. He then played it, and someone else took over as everyone walked down the aisle- it was really sweet.