Post # 1
Does the groom give a speech during:
A. Engagement party
B. Rehearsal dinner
C. Wedding reception
D. All of the above?
Can someone please explain the general etiquette for this/these speech(es)/toast(s)?
My current understanding is:
A. I will give a 5-10 minute speech, as no one else (including the bride/parents/etc.) wants to speak, and I practically do this for a living, so I’m quite capable.
B. VERY brief thank you/toast to all. (30 seconds-1 minute)
C. VERY brief thank you/toast to all, and then to bride. (30 seconds-1 minute)
Is this sensible?
Post # 3
@Grixis857: Makes sense.
The way we did it was:
Engagement Party – my father spoke (because he wanted to), his mom spoke because she hosted
Rehersal Dinner – his father spoke (because he hosted), his mother spoke (because it was in her house), and then we opened the floor to anyone else who wanted to speak
Wedding Reception – my father spoke (because my parents hosted), my sister and his brother spoke (BM and MOH), he spoke after cake cutting and I said a very brief thank you as well.
It’s totally up to what you want to do.
Post # 4
Alright, thanks. I would just as soon not toast at the wedding, but FI insists so that’s that.
My big concerns: is 5-10 min. too long for the engagement party speech? I’ve seen websites say to keep it to 2 min., but I can’t imagine saying anything meaningful in such a short period of time, let alone saying something meaningful PLUS offering thanks. Heck, a decent crowd warming ice breaker to start things off takes 30 seconds all by itself.
Second concern: what are the main differences here? Should each toast/speech be about thanking everyone plus bride? Do any of them focus solely on the bride, or solely on the guests, etc.?
I’m looking for some very *generalized* content guidelines here, so at not to step on anyone’s toes/offend anyone by failing to include something.
Post # 5
@Grixis857: The host usually “welcomes” everyone and thanks them all for coming. Maybe takes a short moment to relate a thought about the bride and groom (or just one).
BM and MOH toasts are usually just to the bride and groom (with maybe a funny story).
Groom/Bride toast is a thank you to everyone for coming (very short) and maybe a toast to the bride if the groom so wishes.
Things should be kept short 2-5 min is a good time to shoot for.
Post # 6
@KatNYC2011: Thanks for the tips.
Post # 7
There’s no set etiquette on this. Give a speech at any of the events you want to give a speech at. I think it’s most important for the bride and groom to give a speech at the wedding over the other events. Everyone came to celebrate you so it would odd if you didn’t address all your guest as a group, tell them what they mean to you and thank them for everything.