(Closed) Groom thinks I’m more excited about a wedding than actually marrying him (long)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had a similar experience with my fiance as well. When we got engaged he gave me no input about how he pictured our wedding. So I planned things without him, and only after the fact did he tell me he would have done things differently. Which made me feel awesome. We were not communicating at all.

I had to tell my fiance not to rely on me as the ‘wedding expert.’ All that I know about weddings I’ve had to put effort into and learn for myself, which he is just as capable of doing. Maybe your fiance won’t feel so nervous if he knows what he’s in for. I know my fiance definitely has stage fright about the big day.

He could have said something sooner if he thought the guest list was getting out of hand as well. Wedding planning needs to continue and by him remaining silent about it, well, what were you supposed to do? Not do anything until he was ready to discuss it? When would that be?

My fiance has just recently started to communicate better with me. We’re paying for about 85% of the wedding ourselves, so he’s now interested in where our money is going.

But yep, I got the whole “You’re more excited about the wedding than marrying me” thing too. I pretty much told him never to say that to me again. I told him the wedding was happening, and we can’t pretend that it’s not, which is why we need to talk about it now and then! Now that’s it coming up soon, he’s finally interested. I hope your fiance comes around too! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Since he is so nervous about being center of attention he probably gets stressed when you remind him of the wedding. He needs to suck it up because if it was such a big deal he should have told you to begin with. Since your parents are helping financially then yes, they should have some say in the matter. He should be happy about that. My fiance and I have to pay 100% for our own wedding.

Us women get caught up in all the details and can’t help but get excited. Most men just aren’t wired that way. My fiance has had some say in our wedding but he initially told me it was on me to plan the whole thing, which I think is unfair. Once the planning started and we saw the venue and met with the photogrpaher, he got excited about it. Now I think he’s more happy about seeing his old college buddies than getting married. lol He’s come around and he just smiles at me when he sees me get all excited about an idea.

I’m sure your fiance will come around. Try to make him feel more comfortable about it. I hate being center of attention myself, but that does not stop me from being excited about my wedding. I just hope you normally have better communication or you could have some major problems in your marriage. Good luck and I hope it gets better 🙂 I’m sure it will.

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