- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 1992
Ok so my future son in law is in the Navy. He decided from the word go, which was 3 weeks ago, he will be wearing his dress blues.
Everything has been moving lighting fast, picking the venue, choosing the dress, getting the girls dresses, flower girls,invitations, ect. All of this in less then 2 weeks time.
My daughter has literally been doing everything for a wedding that is taken place in less then 2 months at the speed of light, my head is spinning as is her’s.
When she first asked her Boyfriend or Best Friend and her husband to be in the wedding the Boyfriend or Best Friend said yes and when my daughter mentioned that the groom to be would be wearing his dress blues, Boyfriend or Best Friend remarked that her husband, who is a Marine would also wear his uniform.
Now that everything is settled down and all details are in place my daughter and her future husband have had a chance to settle down and think a little.
After talking it over with me and a few others as well as her finance’ they decided that they really would prefer her BF’s husband not to wear his uniform.
Everyone feels that it is going to look weird and over shadow the groom being that the Marines blues are much more formal looking then the Navys blues.
Not thinking this was a big deal or strange request my daughter informed her Boyfriend or Best Friend of this discision. Well, it did not go over very well and now the Boyfriend or Best Friend is saying that neither of them will be in the wedding!
This is not the reaction my daughter was expecting at all. We honestly did not think it was going to be a big deal. Apparently we were very wrong.
We are not planning to get expensive tuxedos and when I tell you the bridemaids dresses were bought off the rack and extremly cheap I mean really really “coundn’t even believe it ourselves cheap” I mean CHEAP!
The added expense of the tuxedo seems to be the issue her friend is having but when you consider that the ones we have looked at are under $100, the wedding is not for another 2 months and as such, the tux will not have to be paid for until the week of the wedding, and then the very low cost of the dresses we are having a hard time believing that is the real issue.
Is it so unreasonable to ask him to wear a tuxedo? and Boyfriend or Best Friend has not only said they can’t afford for him to be in a tuxedo but as also went so far as to say THEY will just not be in the wedding???? She already has her dress so for me this feel more like, “this is what we want and we don’t care what you want” to me.
It’s not an issue of wanting to represent his service, they are saying it’s the added expense. I have offered to pay her portion towards the shower to off set the added cost of the tux and was told that is not that point! So I am having a hard time understanding exactly what the point is????
In the mean time as you can imagine my poor daughter is sick over this entire situation and I am at a lose as to what to do. I have tried to, unsuccessfully, talk to her friend but I was told she is hurt and that while she appreciates me trying to help it’s between them.
She did not have the kind of wedding my daughter is having, her’s was a trip to city hall with only their parents and my daughter and her finance’ on a Tuesday.
They did not get the attention my daughter is getting so part of me feels like it’s a matter of wanting some of the attention they didn’t get themselves because nothing else makes any sence.
My question is…was it so wrong for my daughter to request for him to wear a tuxedo like the rest of the wedding party? and what could the reason be for her to drop out if it is in fact a money issue? And what do we do now?