- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hi All- I am having an issue that I need other’s input on. My parent’s are paying for this wedding and our current guest list is pretty evenly distributed between my parents and my FI’s parents. In fact, his parent’s are inviting more family than my family is, but not by much so it’s no big deal. I would say our guest list is pretty set.
The issue I have is that my FI’s parents asked if they could invite my FI’s brother’s girlfriend’s mother, father, sister and sister’s boyfriend. I am not happy about this for a few reasons. 1) We have never met them. We= me and my Fiance. 2) My Fiance and I have been together for 4.5 years and it wasn’t until after we were engaged that his parents finally agreed to meet my parents. They used the excuse that they have jinxed all of his prior relationships and didn’t want to jinx this one by meeting my parents. I can say confidently that they like me and approved of us dating, it was simply an issue of them not being social and going outside of their comfort zone. in addition to the weird reasoning I noted above. After awhile, my parent’s feelings began to get hurt because they wondering why my future husband’s (that my parents have fully welcomed into our family) wouldn’t want to meet them. 3) I think it’s inconsiderate of my Future In-Laws to suggest inviting people that we don’t even know when my parent’s are paying for this wedding and I feel like it’s slap in the face considering how long my parents had to wait to meet my FI’s parents.
I feel that our wedding is a time for my parent’s to bond with his (considering they’ve had one dinner with them and that’s it) and not an opportunity to suddenly bond with people that don’t even know us. Also, they aren’t even engaged right now. Who knows if they will be together? I think that if his parent’s want to bring people together, then his parents can host a BBQ or dinner at their home. My FI’s mom does not host at all or entertain or even cook, in fact, I have never met a single friend of theirs. So I feel like they are riding my parent’s coattails to entertain my brother’s gf’s family instead of doing it themselves. Sorry, I’m just really sensitive and feel protective of my family who has been given the cold shoulder for 4.5 years.
I have not seen a single etiquette item that addresses this particular situation. What I have seen says that whoever is paying has the right to veto, which my family has not done to date. I think it’s fair to veto this one. Am I out of line?