Post # 1
Ok…dying here! I’m working on the budget for the wedding and unfortunately we live 1,000+ miles from our families and where we want to have the wedding so casual lunch conversations with the FIL are not easy…
I’ve heard that the grooms family pays for Rehearsal dinner and the bar tab….Is this what is the norm if the families want the “traditional” route with a modern twist? I would never ask them to pay for it but am wondering what “etiquette” is incase they ask etc (this will be the first wedding for both our families…)
We’re also planning on pitching in for any extras and my family will pay the rest of the reception costs etc….HELP!!!
Post # 3
there are a couple different variations on this tradition, so different sources might tell you different things. That being said, they almost all agree that the Rehearsal dinner is traditionally financed by the groom’s family. Other variations sometimes include the bar tab, and I’ve even heard of the honeymoon as being included under the “groom’s family” responsibilities.
Post # 4
@WolvLove: The etiquette I have heard is the Groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner.
Some others I have heard is they also pay for the band, but I’m not sure how common that one is.
Post # 5
I know they cover the rehearsal dinner & I think the honeymoon too… not sure about the bar tab
I thought that the Brides family pays for all of the reception… thus the toast to the Grooms parents at the rehearsal & toast to the Brides parents at the reception.
Post # 6
I think its best to go forward with an open mind and not have any expectations of anything from them unless they specifically offer. I dont think it really matters what the etiquette is, because each family has a different financial situation.
Post # 7
Wow! Honeymoon and RD? Now THAT would have been nice!
Post # 8
@Mrs. Meowerson: i’ve heard all of these too – and actually my sisters husbands family did all of these for them.. But you are right the most commonly agreed upon is the grooms parents paying for rehearsal dinner
Post # 9
@Just_Squeeze: Haha I hear you!
It is definitely best not to go in with any expectations.
Post # 10
Thanks to all of you! I have no expectations going forward but thats what he is saying he would want his family to chip in…so I’ll sit back and just be grateful if his family offers to pay for anything 🙂 …this long distance thing makes it so much harder to have serious conversations (I much prefer face to face!)…but we’ll get through it!
Post # 11
My groom’s family isn’t paying for a single thing… so I’d go ahead and assume you’re not going to see a dime from anyone, plan your wedding to your budget, then be pleasantly and graciously surprised if funds do come.
Post # 12
Traditionally it is the grooms dinner that the grooms parents pay for. But as other PP have said go with an open mind. My DH parents just gave us the money and we used it to pay for whatever we needed it for.
Post # 13
Here’s a list but there are variations according to each family.
Post # 14
My mother can’t afford to pay for anything and my Fiance’s family doesn’t plan on paying for anything as far as I know. If they do pay that would be nice but I am not expecting it.
Post # 15
I have also heard they or the groom are responsible for the bride’s bouquet, but not sure how much that one is followed. It kind of sucks that a lot of it the bride’s side is responsible for–it’s a wedding for BOTH!
Post # 16
In our wedding, the grooms family is paying for the rehearsal dinner and the bar tab. I find it a little unfair since they invited soooo many people and my parents have to pay for the rest but what do I know right? : )