Groom's family?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MissOtter:  We didn’t really follow any “rules” as far as bride’s family vs. groom’s family for our wedding, but I can tell you that my husband’s family did exactly nothing as far as helping pay or contributing to anything wedding related. Of course, we didn’t ask them for any help, but a simple “Hey, do you need anything that we could get for you?” would have been nice, just once.

I actually don’t think MIL and family even got us a wedding present, physical or monetary. FIL and his now ex-wife gave us cash, but that was about the extent of anything from the in-laws. Well, his grandmother did get us a nice Christmas present (we got married in June), so we told her there was no need to get an additional gift.

Sorry this doesn’t answer you initial question of what the groom’s family covered, but this has been my experience! If I hadn’t been 8 years old when my older sister (16 years older than me) got married, I’d tell you what/if our dad contributed!

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My FI’s parents are divorced. His father was very excited to hear that we were engaged, and offered to help in anyway he could, we were very touched! We will probably ask him to host the rehersal dinner but that’s it, we know he doesn’t have a lot of dispensible income. Still, his enthusiasum was very nice! 

When FI told his mother she said she was very suprised, and don’t forget to send her an invitiation. She does have quite a bit of dispensible income, but we never expected her to pay for anything. I did think she would offer some kind of help (non monetary) or want to be included in the planning in some way but she wants no part in it. I’m a little suprised by her reaction, but oh well! 

My parents offered to contribute a sizable amount, and are very excited to help with the planning. We will cover the rest of the costs ourselves. 

As far as “traditional” grooms famiy costs, I think it used to be flowers, rehersal dinner, alcohol and maybe something else, I don’t remember. I don’t think anyone really goes by those rules anymore though. A lot of people just pay for their weddings and if family offers to contriute they can, but no one is expected to pay for anything except the bride and groom. 

Post # 7
doilyMember
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

If they want the traditional answer, then I Believe that it would be to cover the rehearsal dinner, the flowers, and the honeymoon. However, a lot of people don’t follow this anymore. I would just say pick something or a pricepoint, ask if they are comfortable with that, and go with that.

Post # 8
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Twyla_Smith:  I could have written the first part of your post myself. My in-laws didn’t help at all with our wedding, monetarily or otherwise. (In fact, my FIL didn’t even pay to rent his own tuxedo. Somehow my dad got roped into paying for that … along with the entire wedding and rehersal dinner.)

Post # 9
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

FI’s parents are paying for a welcome dinner (in lieu of a rehearsal dinner).  FI’s dad will be renting his tux, and FI’s mom will be in charge of her own outfit.  It would be nice if they would step up and offer to help with anything else (not just monetary), but I’m not going to pull teeth (or be rude). 

Post # 10
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MissOtter:  

 

Traditional Expenses of the Bride and Her Family

  • Services of a traditional wedding consultant

 

  • Invitations, enclosures, and announcements

 

  • The bride’s wedding gown and accessories

 

  • Floral decorations for ceremony and reception, bridesmaids’ flowers, bride’s bouquet

 

  • Formal wedding photographs and candid pictures

 

  • Video of wedding

 

  • Music for church and reception

 

  • Transportation of bridal party to and from ceremony

 

  • All reception expenses

 

  • Bride’s gifts to her attendants

 

  • Bride’s gift to groom

 

  • Groom’s wedding ring

 

  • Rental of awning for ceremony entrance and carpet for aisle

 

  • Fee for services performed by sexton

 

  • Costs of soloists

 

  • Services of a traffic officer

 

  • Transportation of bridal party to the reception

 

  • Transportation and lodging expenses for the officiant if from another town and if invited to officiate by the bride’s family

 

  • Accommodations for bridal attendants

 

  • Bridesmaids’ luncheon

 

  • Bride’s engagement and wedding rings

 

  • Groom’s gift to bride

 

  • Gifts for groom’s attendants

 

  • Ties and gloves for the groom’s attendants, if not part of their clothing rental package

 

  • The bride’s bouquet (only where it is local custom for the groom to pay for it)

 

  • The bride’s going away corsage

 

  • Boutonnieres for groom’s attendants

 

  • Corsages for immediate members of both families (unless the bride has included them in her florist’s order)

 

  • The officiant’s fee or donation

 

  • Transportation and lodging expenses for the officiant, if from another town and if invited to officiate by the groom’s family

 

  • The marriage license

 

  • Transportation for the groom and best man to the ceremony

 

  • Honeymoon expenses

 

  • All costs of the rehearsal dinner

 

  • Accommodations for the groom’s attendants

 

  • Bachelor dinner, if the groom wishes to give one

 

  • Transportation and lodging expenses for the groom’s family

Traditional Expenses of the Groom and His Family

  • Bride’s engagement and wedding rings

 

  • Groom’s gift to bride

 

  • Gifts for groom’s attendants

 

  • Ties and gloves for the groom’s attendants, if not part of their clothing rental package

 

  • The bride’s bouquet (only where it is local custom for the groom to pay for it)

 

  • The bride’s going away corsage

 

  • Boutonnieres for groom’s attendants

 

  • Corsages for immediate members of both families (unless the bride has included them in her florist’s order)

 

  • The officiant’s fee or donation

 

  • Transportation and lodging expenses for the officiant, if from another town and if invited to officiate by the groom’s family

 

  • The marriage license

 

  • Transportation for the groom and best man to the ceremony

 

  • Honeymoon expenses

 

  • All costs of the rehearsal dinner

 

  • Accommodations for the groom’s attendants

 

  • Bachelor dinner, if the groom wishes to give one

 

  • Transportation and lodging expenses for the groom’s family

Bridesmaids’/Honor Attendants’ Expenses

  • Purchase of apparel and all accessories

 

  • Transportation to and from the city where the wedding takes place

 

  • A contribution to a gift from all the bridesmaids to the bride

 

  • An individual gift to the couple

 

  • Optionally, a shower or luncheon for the bride

 

Best Man’s/Groomsmen’s/Ushers’ Expenses

  • Rental or purchase of wedding attire

 

  • Transportation to and from the city where the wedding takes place

 

  • A contribution to a gift from all the groom’s attendants to the groom

 

  • An individual gift to the couple

 

  • A bachelor dinner, if given by the groom’s attendants

Out-of-Town Guests’ Expenses

  • Transportation to and from the wedding

 

  • Lodging expenses and meals

 

  • Wedding gift

Post # 11
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

As PPs have said, traditionally the groom family takes care of the rehearsal dinner, and where I’m from, the alcohol at the reception. That’s it. Brides family shoulders the rest. Ick!

In my case? FI’s mom is paying for the reception. In its entirety. She’s also helping on the invitations, and I won’t be surprised if she pitches in on a few other angles as well. My parents? My dad’s entering his 10th year of cancer treatments, so they’re not paying for anything wedding-related at present, since they have something more important to spend their money on. If they can get the cash together, I’m guessing they’ll take the rehearsal dinner. We’ll pay the rest of it ourselves. FI and I are both only children, if that matters.

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