Groom's parents not on the top table?!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
9207 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I have never heard of the parents sitting at the top table, I was under the assumption it was just for the couple, the bridesmaids and groomsmen and maybe their partners if the couple want partners there too. So I don’t think you should force your FI to have his parents there if he doesn’t want them at the head table, but have them at the closest table to the head table. Of course if it is the norm in your circle for parents to be at the top table, his parents may be hurt and I would suggest approaching it from that angle. But it should be ultimately about what the two of you want.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Jacqui90.
Post # 3
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

In the UK tradition is to have both sets of parents, the maid of honour and best man at top table. everyone else is at another table normally!

I know that any parents I know would be hugely put out not to be on top table, so I would definitely speak to him about it. Why does he feel so strongly about it? There must be more of a reason.

Post # 5
297 posts
Helper bee

Wow, that is a difficult one!! You really seem to be worried which tells me that his parents will be hurt sitting at another table. I too think it would look strange with your parents at the top table but not his. Does your FI state why exactely he doesn’t want them there? I don’t really have any alternative idea except the sweetheart table or some other table setting… I guess if it was me I would tell him to just suck it up and place the parents at the table. I think it’s rather disrespectful to shove them off to another table especially if mum has contributed money to the wedding! I really don’t want to be in your shoes, I would hate starting a fight because of the seating plan 🙁  Good luck!!

Post # 6
1116 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should let him do it his way. I understand that his parents may be upset but they are his parents so he can deal with that. You got to choose who you want next to you on the table. Let him choose who he wants next to him.

Also, if you’re having your parents and sister will you want him to have three people as well to balance it? If you insist on him having his parents will he have to choose between his bestmen as to which one gets to go one the table.

Post # 7
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

ka0510:  This isn’t tradition here, but it is where my FI is from… only the bride’s mother sits on one side with the groom’s father and then groom’s mother sits on the other side with the bride’s father. That tradition could solve your problem if its that he doesn’t want them sitting together. 

We aren’t doing this.  Our parents will sit with their own spouses somewhere other than the head table.  The head table is the bridal party only. 

Post # 8
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Aug 30th, 2014

Maybe he just wants friends so he can relax a bit and joke around, etc? Obviously I can’t know how he feels, but personally I find it hard to relax and be myself around my family. I’m much more comfortable with my friends!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors