Post # 1
I’m hoping some of you can lend some advice. I’ve mailed out all our invitations but have been holding off on my fiance’s parents’ guests because they wanted more time to gather addresses. Three weeks later, I find out they would rather skip sending invites all together and call their friends instead. This is a problem for me because first, I have over $200 worth of invites going to waste, I won’t be able to complete my placecards, and most importantly, I’ll have no control over the guest list count!
I was thinking about telling his parents they are only allowed X number of tables and figure out the seating themselves. Our parents helping to pay 50/50 for this wedding.
Any advice for a frustrated bride?
Post # 6
I definitely agree that you and your FI need to have an honest conversation with his parents and explain that you prefer to send paper invitations (for the reasons that you mentioned). Have you already determined how many people your ILs are inviting? I know a lot of people divide up the guest list, giving each set of parents x-number of people or tables or something. Even if you do that, I’d advise you to get a list of the people and send your invitations yourself.
Post # 7
I agree with all of the above. Perhaps there is a way to compromise? Maybe you could have his parents make up their guest list and call all of them, and then send the formal invitation after? That way they will still be able to have the personal connection with their friends and family, but you can still have peace of mind that they received a formal invitation.
Post # 8
Wow. You should be able to send invites … I think you should just have your fiance get the addresses from his parents.
Post # 9
I would tell them its okay to call but you would want to send out a formal invitation out too.
Post # 10
Let them call after the invites have arrived. If they wanted to do this, they should have let you know BEFORE you spent the money on the invites!
Post # 11
You need to either grab the phone numbers and call these people yourself to get the addresses to send invites to, or you need to seriously have a talk with your fiance’s parents to make sure that they will get the addresses. And give them a deadline!
Post # 12
Woah… wtf? i would call up your FMIL and talk to her voicing your concerns – everyone else already mentioned them – no control over guest list, not knowing if they are coming or not (they could easily tell your FMIL they are coming and back out as it’s just a verbal acceptance), no addresses for thank you’s, and not to mentioned a lot of wasted money. If nothing else be straight with her and tell her that you have already spent $200 on these inviations and have them ready to be mailed; that should light some fire under her butt. Or tell her to reimburse you for the cost lost 🙂
Post # 13
I understand the thought process behind it, but it’s just not functional for a wedding. Maybe they can call to tell them that a wedding invitation is COMING and to catch up with people that they want to talk to, but then send an invitation with all the specifics. I wouldn’t want to trust my numbers to a conversation that might get off track and then have the FILs come back with a “they said see you soon….so I guess they’re coming?” answer.