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IMHO your out of line. Relax it is just hair. There are worst things that could happen between now and your wedding day. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. and please remember the other reasons he is in your wedding - at least i hope he isn't in the wedding solely for his hair!
I feel your pain. We have a groomsman, also a good friend of ours and also has McDreamy hair (I swear he looks just like Zac Efron) who is deadset on growing dreadlocks. Dreadlocks!! I think that's much worse than bald!! I would rather him shave his head in a heartbeat than show up with waist-length dreadlocks!!
But you have to remember here, it's not about what they look like, it's about WHO is behind the hair (or er, lack thereof). Clearly he is very special to you guys, and you have chosen him to be a part of your special day for a reason. In ten years, you are NOT going to care that he was bald for the wedding, you will just be happy that he was there!
You have plenty of time before your wedding for his hair to grow back. Maybe he'll decide he didn't like being bald. Or maybe you guys will adjust to it!
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We can't control what others choose to do with their appearance. Hopefully, you chose your bridal party based on their relationships with you and your groom, and as long as he remains a good friend to you both, I think that's the most you can ask for. Likely, he'll grow his hair back (October is pretty far away!) or at least have a longer buzz cut look by then. But if not, his appearance is his prerogative and I don't think there's anything you can (or should) do about that.
Heh, just relax and take a breather :p He won't be in ALL of the photos. My opinion on it is that people in my wedding can look like however they want because they will be the ones embarassed down the line when they go back and look at pictures, not me! My sister just pierced her lip. By herself. My mom told her that she wasn't going to take her to get it done because she doesn't want her to have it, so my sister took matters into her own hand and did it herself... (she's 16 and this isn't the first time she's pierced herself after my mom said no, so I joked to my mom that she should have learned not to say no by now!). Well, she's my MOH. The wedding is in a month. My sister said she can't take it out or the hole will close (wouldn't that be a shame ;) ) but I think she's the one who will be a bit embarassed when she gets older and outgrows her wild ways lol. I'm just going to let it go. It's not ideal, but whatever. They can look like fools as long as I don't! My FSIL plans on doing her own hair for the wedding. She's a bridesmaid and all the rest of them are getting it done professionaly. Now, some people are GREAT at doing their own hair and it's not even a problem, but her? Not so much. I've seen what she does with her hair (pig tails with very long hair, even at the age of 26, yeah she's really short, but that doesn't mean she has to dress and look like a child, even if she's their height!). She said she's going to put it up in a bun, and I'm almost certain there will be two long strands down the side of her face. She has a picture of herself on facebook in a "school girl" outfit with her hair up, and so I'm guessing her hair will look like that. I'm pretty sure it will look fairly childish and quite silly, but she can be embarassed. And if she's not? Good for her!
I completely understand! Although my situation is the exact opposite - one of our groomsmen (the best man no less) WON'T cut his hair or shave his beard! He's got an afro the size of a NYC skyscraper and you can hardly find his face behinthat ginormous beard of his! But as everyone else has said, we can only grin and bear it right? It's his style and no matter how much I may want to change it, I know I can't so I just laugh it off! I think it will make for some hilarious pictures anyway : ) Don't worry, and try to be grateful that your FI hasn't done the same!
haha, if it were my fiance doing that, THEN I'd be angry! Lets not jinx it xD
Whoa! Well, at least it's not the week before your wedding, right? I bet he'll grow it out over the summer and that it will be back to its original state by October. You obviously can't dictate the personal appearance of your bridal party, but I don't blame you for freaking out!
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I also have a groomsmen who wears his hair in a bun on top of his head, he has really long hair,he is 6'3 and I don't care, his hair does not bother me. It is not my place to say that I don't like his hair and he needs to change it. The fact that he is spending time and money to stand by us is enough for me. I understand your preference for a certain look from him because you think he looks better with longer hair, but you can't control that kind of thing. Your wedding is too far away, to be upset about a groomsmen who shaved his head 6 months before your wedding it will grow back, just wait and see a lot of guys do this in the summer too and then grow it back out in the fall.
I probably would have felt annoyed if someone in my wedding party had something weird going on. But I think you're going to find it's not that big of a deal. I don't know about others, but most pictures of my bridal party are strictly delegated to my photo albums, at this point. Nothing personal, but I only have so much space. And the pictures on my walls are a few of my husband and me. (OK, they haven't gotten up there yet. But they will). And honestly, even though his hair was gorgeous, I don't think having it shaved is a big attention grabber compared to some of the other gripes (tatoos, dreadlocks, boys with long facial hair.)
Its unfortunately his head, his life, of which your wedding is just one day. You hopefully didn't pick your wedding party based on looks, so you need to just let it slide!
And my husband is 6'5, bald and I think he looks hot in our wedding pics :)
Everyone is going to be paying attention to you and your FI anyway, not to how well groomed the groomsmen are. Would you be upset if one of your BMs gained a bunch of weight, or someone broke their arm and had a big cast? Not worth stressing over things you have no control over!
Remember your wedding isn't the most important thing to most people. Every decision you make may have your wedding day taken into account, but don't expect everyone involved to dictate their decisions. If someone cuts their hair or grows a beard or gets a tattoo or something, it shouldn't ruin your day. He probably got sick of his hair. No one will even care at the wedding, believe me. Besides, he was chosen to stand up their with you guys and support your union. Try to support him a little instead of worrying about how he looks.
IMO you are out of line on this one. Believe, no one is going to be looking at your groomsmen in your wedding pictures - they will be looking at you. Plus, a lot of people have bald heads - what's the big deal?
I agree that this isn't your issue. Also, your wedding is 6 months away! Tons of guys shave their heads during the summer months... I'm sure by fall his gorgeous hair will be back! Don't stress about something you can't control.
He'll probably have hair by then, since it's 6 months from now. But, you cant really tell him to anyway. His head, his hair.
I know what others have said will be somewhat hard to take, so I am not going to repeat it. But perhaps you can better understand his side if you think about it this way --
Say you were asked to be a bridesmaid in your friend's wedding, and 6 months before the wedding you decided that you were going to get your hair cut and colored. You had long blonde hair before that everybody loved, but you needed a change and you got a shoulder-length chestnut colored bob. You like the change, you may eventually go back to your length and blonde color in a couple of years, but for now, you want the short brunette 'do, because it's so much easier to take care of.
Your friend the bride sees your hair and freaks. She demands that that you grow it out and recolor it for her wedding, and insists to her fiance that you are going to stand out in her wedding photos because everyone else will have long hair in an updo and they are all shorter than you are, so you'll stand out. How would you feel? Even if you were considering going back to your old style, wouldn't you feel like you had the right to wear your hair the way you wanted, even if it's not the style that everyone else loves on you?
I'm not really a control freak (I swear!) I think he's realizing the error in his decision - not everyone can pull off the shaved head look.
I honestly would have a good laugh about it. Maybe in the summer casually ask him if he's planning to grow it back. If he doesn't oh well, it's not the end of the world!
I would have a good laugh about it as well-. It's such a shock to see someone who has great hair go and chop it all off! It's like "The hair God's blessed you with great hair and LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" =o) But I am sure the shock will wear off as you all get used to it.
I wouldn't say anything if I were you. Knowing me I would just get jokingly dramatic with the groomsman and make a joke out of it. Remember the Friends episode where Ross's girlfriend got convinced by Rachel to shave her head? I would tell the groomsman 'Dude I had a girl all lined up for ya- but she specifically told me she would never date a man who a) has no hair b) shaves his head- looks like you are SOL with her!" ;o)
My sister had a groomsman who was in the air force, super buzzed hair (or bald, I don't remember), 6'5", and towered over the rest of us. (The tallest being the groom at 5'7".) Nobody cared. It's your wedding, people are looking at you.
You have trouble because you know how he looked without hair - but nobody else will be in that position - and eventually you will get used to it, and the people at your wedding aren't going to be looking at him going, "why would he do such a thing?"
If he realized he's made a hasty decision (as you said in your updated response), he has plenty of time to grow some hair back! I don't think it is anything to get too bothered over. :)
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My at the time boyfriend did this (years ago) and his best friend was flying out to visit us when we lived in SLC. I had gotten used to my boyfriend after a couple of days since he had pretty short hair anyways. Carl was another thing, I walked into the bar meeting them after work, not thinking anything of it because he had longer hair and full face mustache and beard. When I got to the bar, Carl was shaved bald too! I actually didn't recognize him! But after a few days I got used to it. I think after a while you'll get used to him looking like that and just feel like that's how he looks....it is really shocking at first when a friend does that...it just takes some time to get used to.
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My FI & I have a roommate (good friend & also in our wedding). He has great hair! I mean we're talking McDreamy hair here ladies. Last night we came home from dinner & my roommate was sitting at his computer, head completely shaved! I was in shock, because it is very unusual for him to do something like this. When I asked why he said that he was just so tired of dealing with his hair & just felt like shaving it, right then, like a Britney Spears episode. Of course my FI thought it was fine. No big deal.
Okay, the wedding isn't until October. But really, he looks way better with hair. He looks like he's sick with illness with a shaved head. He might grow it back, I mean who knows right? But what if he does it again, like right before the wedding?
I'm stressing about my wedding pictures now, especially since he's 6'5. He'll be towering over everyone with his big bald head. Is there a nice way to ask that he have hair for the wedding? Or am I out of line here?
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