Post # 1
So, my parents were in town this past weekend and casually mentioned to us that my brother is very mad that he is not in our wedding. My response? What? He is in the wedding! We asked him casually when he was in town about 2 weeks after we got engaged and honestly the groomsmen have not been up to much since (we are just selecting attire and Fiance is only doing a super casual bachelor party close to the wedding). He’s on the freaking website and has been since November.
So far tonight we have received an e-mail from my Dad saying that we need to “resolve things quickly” and that he is “very upset” and one from my Mom saying she thinks he will decline any overature that we make because he is so offended. She also threw in that my Dad is offended that Fiance never asked for his blessing. I want to toss in here that this is the same woman who last week called me anti-feminist for using the Mr. and Mrs. so and so format to address invitations.
Looking for guidance or suggestions. We have tried calling him twice, no response and so apparently are going to have to e-mail him . . .
Post # 3
I don’t have any advice – it sounds like your brother is being a big baby and your parents should be minding their own business because they obviously are not helping the situation at all.
As for the fact that your dad is offended that Fiance didn’t ask for his blessing – OMG this is 2010 – you decide who you marry and this asking Dad for blessing nonsense is antiquated and unnecessary in today’s society. The decision to marry has nothing to do with ones parents, it is between 2 adults.
I would send your brother one email. If he doesn’t respond or decides to continue his unfounded temper tantrum, take him off the website, and allow him to attend as a guest.
Post # 5
@ Ms. Mini: Thanks for your reply. I liked it so much I read it aloud to Fiance. This e-mail just stinks to write. I feel like he just wants attention so I almost don’t want to send it.
Post # 6
Your welcome – like I said, just send the one email. Don’t make it too long or apologetic – he is the one that misunderstood, you did nothing wrong. I would give him like 7 days max to straighten himself up.
Post # 7
I don’t understand why your brother is complaining about not being in the wedding when he is. Maybe he thought since the wedding is getting close he should have been asked by now to get a suit/save the bachelor party date/something? Who knows. I think one simple email as proposed by Mini makes perfect sense given it seems to be a miscommunication and nothing else. (If it’s trying to get attention well that’s just silly, what is he, 5?)
As for your dad’s blessing you should probably cut your mother out of the conversation and just ask your dad about it. I agree that it’s very old fashioned (my dad would have laughed if Darling Husband tried to ask him I think!) but it’s probably worth discussing with him to make sure there are no hard feelings.