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I don't think that I would ask any of the bridesmaids to step down. Do you have two special guys that are ushers that you could bump up to groomsmen if the brothers can't end up making it? Most guys are pretty easy going about that kind of stuff. That would at least put you at 4 to 5.
I don't think you should ask the BM's to step down. That would be very hurtful. Is there anyone that could stand in for the 2 guys, if they can't participate?
If not, 2/5 would not be the worse, given the circumstances.
@ oracle & Lampshade127: We aren't having ushers, and my FI says there isn't anyone else he feels comfortable asking ... :(
I wouldn't ask a bridesmaid to step down ... that would be incredibly hurtful I would think. Do you have any men in your life that you could have stand up with FH (brother, close friend, what about FH's dad?)
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Is there one Bridesmaid or perhaps your MOH that would be willing to walk down the aisle unescorted? Are you having the cermony in a church? If not, maybe you could have one of the groomsmen go back around and get the other BM - just make it cute???
I wouldn't ask them to step down. Even 2/5 isn't a big deal- especially because those close to you will know that two of them won't be able to be groomsmen bc they are now in the marines (if it happens!). Maybe you could just add a little something in the program that says you are thinking of the three groomsmen that could not be there...
And then as for the processional, perhaps your bridesmaids could all walk in one by one and the groomsmen could already be at the alter. And after the ceremony, maybe the MOH and Best man could walk out together, and then the second groomsmen could walk out with two of the bridesmaids, and then two bridesmaids could walk down the aisle together.
It will all work out! I think that having important people next to you on your wedding day is more important than trying to even things out.
this happened to us. DH originally had 14 GMs. as we got closer the wedding, about 5 dropped out. so i was left with 8 guys and 9 girls (I only wanted 4 BMs, but had asked all these additional people b/c i thought there would be so many GMs). anyways...long story short..i had 2 BMs walk out with 1 BM. everyone thought it was really cute and that we had did it on purpose (I had 2 MOHs)
Our bridal party was lopsided (3 on my side, 2 on his) and I liked not following tradition. I think if you ask any of your bridesmaids to step down you could risk really hurting them and damage your friendship with them in the long run. To me, balancing out the sides isn't more important than relationships with people you obviously care about.
Oh gosh, definitely don't ask any BMs to step down. There's no doubt that your friendship with them wouldn't be the same. Even if they say they'll be okay with it, I'm sure deep down, it'll hurt. Imagine if you were in their shoes, being told that you need to step down because the wedding party needs to be even?
Can your FI ask a female to be on his side? My FI has one of his female cousins standing up for him because he's really close to her. He said he wouldn't have had it any other way.
And really, lop-sided wedding parties are not bad at all. We originally had three and two, and it ended up being two and two after one drop-out, but we were totally okay with any sort of combination. It really doesn't matter how many you have, what matters is the support you get from each person.
I would keep things as is, unless your FI can think of anyone else, either male or female, to stand on his side.
I'm having 6 BMs and 4 GM. I am just going to have all the guys walk in together behind my FI and then all the girls walk in alone.
I would just leave it as is. If the two guys get called to duty then mention that in the program. Leave their names as groomsmen but then add that we would like for everyone to take a moment to reflect on the two groomsmen who were called to service and couldn't make it for the wedding. I think that will mean something special to them that you honored them and at the same time let everyone know that you really had a full list of guys but there was special circumstances.
Oh, vintage, that's such a sweet idea to mention the guys who are in the Marines.
Please don't ask them to step down. I think it will cause more harm than good. I understand wanting an even wedding party, but I think if you really reflect on that, you'll realize that having them lopsided isn't that big of a deal, compared to possibly ruining some friendships. Besides, your position, having more BMs than GMs, sounds more logical anyway. A bride needs more gals around her to get ready etc, than a groom needs GMs, right?
I don't think you should ask any of them to step down. They obviously mean something to you since you asked them to be your bridesmaids. It will be uneven but I think you can make it work.
I wouldnt ask them to step down. We are having 5 BM and 2 GM and its ok. I'm having the guys seat the mothers and then my girls will walk out alone and I've seen it like this before. Then going out my MOH will walk alone and the GM will be walking 2 bm each.Don't worry about it being off it doesnt have to be even.
you are so sweet to not take any of this personally!
I wouldn't ask anyone to step down. Perhaps if you have 2/5 you could have one groomsman on either side stand with 2/3 BMs so it doesn't look too uneven. And you could have the BMs walk alone or perhaps have each groomsman take two ladies and have the 5th (MOH?) walk alone. I wouldn't risk offending any of your girls just out to be even :)
If it were me, I wouldn't ask anyone to step down, especially since they've paid for their dresses and are probably all excited about it. Who says you have to have 'sides' in the wedding? You could break the mold and have the girls and guys walk in at the same time or have a couple of the girls stand next to the groomsmen when they get up to the end of the aisle. I am actually having 9-10 of my dearest ladies stand up with me and my fiance is having his 6 closest guys. I'll probably do one of the things mentioned above. It's all about having the people that love you and support you up there, sometimes that doesn't make an even number, and that's okay in my book.
We're having 4 BMs and 1 GM/best man. Luckily, only one BM and the lone GM are both single. My two sisters and my other close friend are all married, and I'm very close to my two brothers-in-law and good friends with the third's husband. So, to include them and take care of the numbers issue, I'm having the three married girls walk down with their husbands, who will then take their seats as the girls continue to the front. My single BM will walk in with the only GM.
I, too, wouldn't ask anyone to step down-- it will be a lot more awkward and uncomfortable and possibly have far longer lasting consequences to do that than it would be to have an uneven bridal party. Instead, try and think creatively to see if there are any other ways to get those girls down the aisle.
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When we got engaged, we asked 5 guys and 5 girls to be our groomsmen and bridesmaids. The other day, one of my FI's groomsmen called and said he and his fiance (they got engaged a few months after we did) are getting married the weekend after ours and he won't have the time to be a groomsman. I'm not upset about this ... It's unfortunate but completely understandable. But earlier in the month, two of my FI's other groomsmen (they are twin brothers) told him they decided to go into the Marines, and they are pretty sure they can still come, but they aren't completely positive. I feel hesitant to rely on them being there ... I mean, hello? It's the Marines ... Defending our country is way more important than any wedding.
My question is this: What should I do about my bridesmaids? If we end up losing three groomsmen, that will make the bridal party very uneven. I was OK with having 4/5 and maybe OK with 3/5. But 2/5 ... I wouldn't like that. Should I ask two/three of them to step down and pay them back for their dresses? What if no one wants to step down? Is this completely tacky? (cause it feels tacky to me ...) Is there any wedding etiquette for this situation? Please help!