Groomsman's wedding week before ours!!!

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

In a word, yes.

Post # 4
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsChemE:  I don’t think you’re wrong. While I understand the whole “you only get one day for your wedding” thing…I would never plan my wedding that close to a friends (one who’s wedding they are in nonetheless). And if I did, I would push off my honeymoon for a bit so I could still attend their wedding. I would be annoyed by it and worried that people would have to choose between the weddings.

Post # 5
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it’s ok to be personally upset, maybe even vent here on an anonymous site.  However, I think your public appearance and interactions with this groomsman should stay positive and you should be excited about the momentous occasion for him.  

I do think, however, that if you have to travel and stay in a hotel to go to his wedding, no one would fault you for saying you’re unable to attend just a week before your own wedding.

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsChemE:  I think you are justified in your feelings but there isn’t much you can do about it 🙁 

Post # 7
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@weatherbug:  We actually booked our wedding the week prior to a friend’s wedding (one who was engaged first). Ideally we wanted to do it a couple of months later, but we fell in love with a venue and it was the absolute last day they had available for the next year and a half… And only because someone else cancelled their wedding. While we were very happy for them, we also did not postpone our wedding a year and a half or settle on abother venue on account of someone else.

So, while it’s not ideal, it’s the way that it happened. We understood that they wouldn’t be able to fly out to our wedding the week prior to their own and vice-versa… I did formally apologize to them, but the b2b was adamant on us not even thinking twice about it. Now, if I’m being honest, I may be a little peeves if that person was in our wedding and something like this happened. However, I do see how it could happen just based on my own experience. 

Post # 8
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

I would be very upset too. There was a member of my bridal party (a family relative) who got engaged and was wanting to have hers the week after ours. It would literally be the exact same people at both weddings, and I was really upset about it. She said they wanted it because it was the only day for a certain venue. But thankfully other family members talked her out of it and convinced her to be civil and find a different date and venue. So now it is a few months before ours (they are having a ridiculously short engagement). Thank goodness. I’m sorry you have to go through that, but theres not much you can do about it. 

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsChemE:  How many out-of-town guests will be attending both weddings? If your husband and the groomsman aren’t related, I wouldn’t expect there to be many at all.

EDIT: I guess it’s possible if it’s a group of college friends who have mainly moved. If that’s the case then (a) get your save-the-dates out, and (b) your FI needs to explain to his friend how big the overlap is. But in the end, it’s their decision and there might be other factors (e.g. family) forcing their date.

Post # 10
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsChemE:  you’re feelings are your feelings. Id probably be annoyed. Send out save the dates ASAP so they are sent out before his

Post # 11
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Im not sure how i’d feel about that. Probably i would be a little peeved, but there isnt much that you can do or say about it. It’s not on your wedding date, or even the same weekend. sorry 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

That sucks but because you were engaged first people will probably make your wedding more of a priority (that is what happened when a close friend got engaged after me and was interested in the same month).  I would definitely send your save the dates asap

Post # 13
Member
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@MrsChemE:  I understand why you are concernend, but unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it.  He can get married whenever he wants.  Sorry. 

Post # 14
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsChemE:  I’m totally with you. It doesn’t sound like you’re planning on saying something to them, or want them to change the date. You’re just…upset. Which is totally legitimate.

We got engaged last April, and chose June 2014 (I’m a teacher). Friends got engaged in September, chose May 24, 2014. They’ll be married first, but no big deal. Halloween, two friends I introduced (from different groups, but they met through me) got engaged. They’re looking for May & June dates and I’m crossing my fingers they’re at least two weeks from ours. I would never say anything, but if they pick the week before ours, I’ll be upset–I would never say anything to them, and I have no expectation that they change it, but, no, I would not be happy. At least I know they can’t choose our same date because all three weddings have the same pastor!

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