Post # 1
So my fiance asked my brother in law to be a goomsman in our upcoming wedding. Recently my sister and her husband have decided to split, and even more recently it has become an ugly split. Do i ask my brother in law, who has been my brother in law for 20 years, to step down? And if so do we ask someone to take his place? our wedding is a month away, and i think its kind of tacky to ask someone last min to fill in, but i hate the uneven look in pictures!! What do I do……
Post # 2
That’s really tough. If your fiance has a really good friendship with the BIL (aside from him being your BIL) then I think he should keep him. However, if he was asked due to obligation or to get even sides, then I think it might be best to gently ask him to step down as to not make your sister uncomfortable. Tough situation all around, hopefully people will act like adults and not make your wedding about their drama. I would be prepared for neither to come (sad to say but maybe true).
Post # 3
shawnakae: is your sister also in the wedding? What are her thoughts on this?
I would hope that as adults they could choose to make the day about you and your new husband and check their own issues at the door…I would get her take on things and go from there.
Post # 4
My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she honestly isn’t in the best frame of mind. She will do whatever makes me happy because she loves me, but i don’t want my wedding to be tense and drama filled. My sister will be there no matter what, but I am worried my BIL will pull a no show.
Post # 5
I think it would be a good idea how BIL is feeling about it too. Maybe have Fiance take him out for a beer and find out what’s going on and if he rather remove himself to help not cause more drama. Just a thought. If he decides that he is going to be there, I would tell your sister that he has said no drama and that you also would like to be sure that there will be no drama from her. And like shwkakae said: And that both you and Fiance double emphasis to check the issues at the door.