- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So, waaaaaay back about a year ago when we started wedding planning, FI and I agreed to have the groomsmen wear khaki pants. All of the guys (groom included) would NEVER wear nice dress pants outside of a wedding, and we definitely vetoed the idea of suits based on casual atmosphere of our outdoor June wedding. The reception will have carnival-type games outside, and food in a rustic venue (similar to a barn setting).
Well. FMIL, while not being *too* pushy, keeps trying to convince us to buy custom tailored pants for the guys. The reasons being 1) she want them to look nice in photos, since we are spending a fair amount on photography ($1200), 2) she thinks khakis will be too casual, 3) and the groom is a virtually non-existant size (tall and thin), and she wants HIM to get custom pants, and for the groomsmen to match him exactly.
She is so nice and helpful in regard to all other wedding details, I feel bad standing up for our decision. FI has told her what HE wants, but she is now appealing to me based on the fact that he is a guy and doesn’t want to get dressed up for his own wedding. Agh!
Tonight, I tried to reach a compromise by telling her that we found some very deep brown khakis that we would like to order and try on. They are not traditional tan khakis, but they are a more casual style – dressy casual, I suppose? She told me that she would be willing to splurge on really nice brown pants instead, and buy the attire for the groomsmen.
It is a nice gesture, but she is ignoring the fact that we do not *want* to have the guys more dressed up. It is a casual/rustic wedding, outdoor, in what will probably be hot weather. There are carnival/lawn games, the bridesmaids are wearing wedges, and nobody is going to notice, remember, or care how expensive the groomsmen’s pants were. Their legs won’t be in THAT MANY photos, either. I do wedding photography, and chose a photographer who does a photojournalistic style with few posed shots. I don’t want many of those, anyway.
FMIL is helping us pay for the wedding, so this is kind of a hard situation. I don’t want her to feel like I just want her $$$ not her opinions… and on other details, I have asked for and used her ideas. But, I would rather her NOT splurge on groomsmen attire, when there are other things in the budget we are skimping on!
How can I respectfully stand my ground? I know that to most people my parents age, a casual wedding is a crazy idea, and people pretty always wore tuxes or suits to weddings.