Post # 1
ok so I have a Groomsmen ( actually my brother) that is insisting on wearing his military suit in my wedding. its dark green with alot of patches and pins all over it. I have already said no but the issue keeps resurfacing. He is no longer in the military,nor is this a military wedding. I have always invisioned all the groomsmen matching an the suit really doesnt match. i need a nice way to get my point across.
Post # 3
Tell him that you want all the groomsmen to match and if he doesn’t want to conform (because seriously, that’s not an unreasonable request from you), you’ll be happy to let him wear his military suit to the wedding…as a guest.
Post # 4
I think this would be a different issue if he were active duty and wanted to wear his dress uniform, as it is often customary to wear a uniform in these situations. But if he’s no longer in the military…I vote that he doesn’t really get a say what he is wearing if he is a groomsman.
Post # 5
@sharttle: What do you plan to have the other groomsmen wear? You should just have your FI or yourself send out an email saying “this is the color suit you need to get”
Does he have a wife/fiancee/girlfriend? If so – talk to them because they probably have more power over him! Or maybe have one of your parents say something to him if he is not listening to you?
Post # 6
I agree with sapphirebride, if he was on active duty it would be a different story. But you said he’s no longer in the military, so he shouldn’t be wearing his uniform at all. I think there are actual military rules about that. I don’t think you’re allowed to wear a uniform if you’re not currently in the military.
Post # 7
This is YOUR wedding. You need to do what you and your fiancee want. If that means no military suit then you just need to come right out and be blunt with your brother. Tell him that he needs to respect your wishes as the bride and you would like him in the same suit/tux as everyone else. Its not about what he wants. In time hopefully he will get over it. But as you said, he is not active right now anyway!
Post # 8
I agree with @Statutory Grape. It also sounds like, to me, he wants to look good and make a statement at your wedding but you’ve got to just put your foot down and tell him no.
Post # 9
I’m all for guys wearing their uniforms (DH and half of his groomsmen did for our wedding) but if he’s no longer in the military I don’t think he’s even allowed to wear it… (someone else may be able to correct me but that’s my understanding…)
If he is allowed to wear it (according to the military) I would let him. But that’s just me…
Post # 10
He is still allowed to, as long as he has been honorably discharged.
I understand that it wasn’t your vision, but you should let him.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone! If he were active duty in the military it wouldnt be a question in my mind, but he’s not. I am just going to keep telling him no. I should check into the rules because maybe he shouldnt even be wearing it since he’s been out for awhile now. I think he is just doing this because he doesnt want to pay for a suit.
Post # 12
Tell him that he can wear his military suit to HIS wedding but not yours. Or like a PP said he can wear it to your wedding as a GUEST. I think you just have to put your foot down and tell him that he simply cant do it. I cant even understand why he is insisting on this.
Post # 13
He is most certainly allowed to wear his non-combat uniforms in public as long as he was retired/honorably discharged.
Why does he want to wear it? Was he in combat? Does he feel a certain connection to it? If so, I could reconsider and look at it from his point of view.
Or, reconsider having him in your wedding party if you must have a coordinated look.
Post # 14
i am in the process of begging my brother to wear his dress blues (he is a marine and 10 months younger than me) i think they look so sharp and im very very proud of him, so i think he should show it off.
Post # 15
Maybe he can wear it to the rehearsal dinner instead?
Post # 16
this is an interesting thread! my FH is prior Army (special forces Airborne paratrooper) and before we got engaged he mentioned something about wanting to wear his uniform. now, he’s only mentioned tuxes. i don’t care what he ends up wearing because he’ll look dapper either way, but i didn’t know if he was allowed to wear it if not active or if it might be weird (thoughts?) so i appreciate some of the clarification in this thread! in your brother-groomsman situation, i think you absolutely have the right to tell him what to wear since he’s out now, but maybe you can incorporate something else into his like a pocket square or something with his bout that has a military connotation – like a challenge coin peeking out or a pin on his lapel something? that way you’re showing that you want to recognize his service but not make it a focal point or cause for distraction.