(Closed) Groomsmen leaving early

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you just need to let the brother decide.  Its not worth causing a problem over.  Plus he will be there for the ceremony and dinner so he will be part of your special day.  But at 17 prom is a big deal for him so try and understand that while you’re wedding is a special day so is his prom.


Post # 4
43 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

While I understand your being upset, his brother will only have one prom, and it is the biggest thing you have in high school, besides graduation and getting your driver’s liscence. I think it would be very unfair to ask him not to go to his prom for your wedding. 

Post # 5
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Prom, like a wedding, is a once in a lifetime event, a rite of passage and while your wedding is important to you, prom is important to young people…he can certainly attend both, and save money on a tux rental, so it works!

Post # 7
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are you close to your brother?  I would be hurt if my brother left right after dinner.  Could you ask him to stay at least until the cake cutting / garter toss, and make sure these things happen shortly after dinner?

Post # 9
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I’m not going to lie, you probably won’t even notice he’s gone.  After dinner & dancing/mingling ensues in full force, you’ll be busy having fun & NOT tracking attendance.  

Our wedding was on homecoming & my sophomore sister was super bummed, so I can see where both you & the stepbrother are coming from.

Post # 10
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

prom may be as important to a 17 year old as a wedding is to you. just let him go to the ceremony, which is the actual important part!

Post # 11
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Think of when you were that age and attending your first prom.  It’s a BIG deal to them.  They will be there for all of the ceremony, the pictures, dinner, and toasts.  I think that is more than enough.

Post # 12
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

In our area, junior prom is a bigger deal than senior prom. Not to mention, you don’t know what the next year will bring. He could break up with his girlfriend, get in a skiing accident and break his leg, transfer schools because of bullying, etc… I ended up only going to my junior prom. Those are memories I wouldn’t trade for anything. I had fun at my sister’s weddings.. but prom really was a great bonding experience with my friends. I would let them leave after dinner. Your wedding is your day, not theirs.

Post # 13
412 posts
Helper bee

Prom’s a BIG deal – for my senior prom, I got my hair and nails professionally done. Did tanning for months before, and got (natural looking) fake eyelashes, as well as hair extensions put in. We also got a limo, corsages, not to mention dress & shoes… it’s a big deal. Other proms I went to, I borrowed dresses, but still tanned and got hair done. I’d say that them coming to your wedding for dinner is already a pretty big compromise on their part – getting ready was always an all-day affair with friends.

Post # 15
2534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

One of my bridesmaids, my FI’s sister, is (already) planning to only attend our ceremony and skip our reception completely, because she has a triathlon the next day.
Fiance & I were very upset at first, but after thinking about it (and posting here with disastrous results) we are just going to let her do whatever she wants at this point — don’t want to make her upset with us (possibly forever) over something that may be more important to her than we realize. We’ll pay for her plate, just in case she changes her mind, but I’ve already decided I’m not going to care about it anymore. Took a bit to convince my Fiance to feel the same way though.

I never went to prom, so I can’t say how important it is. But I think you shouldn’t worry about it too much — you’re still getting married! You don’t want sulking teenagers at your reception because they missed prom, you want them to be happy! Even if it means they leave a bit early. Hopefully you’re having too much fun to even notice (maybe you can request they don’t say goodbye, so you don’t have to think about it at all?)
I think it was very nice of them to even offer to stay for dinner, since dinner is included in the price of prom admission too.
Who knows, this could be the awesome prom and next year’s could suck or be cancelled!

Post # 16
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

let him go if your fiance doens’t care – it’s HIS brother. Will you really care if he’s not there?  You’ll barely notice he’s gone. He’s 17 he’s going to likely be off being self-absorbed with his gf during the reception anyways, so what does it matter? – he only gets one prom, it’s really sweet of him to make both work.

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