(Closed) Groomswomen… Crazy? Cool? Confusing?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Opinion on Bridal party
    Groomswomen will look odd. : (3 votes)
    5 %
    It's 2012, groomswomen will be look fine! : (41 votes)
    68 %
    Have all 9 of your girls, after all, it's your bridal party! : (7 votes)
    12 %
    9 is way too many, stick with just sisters (2). : (9 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I did not have DH’s sister in-law in my wedding… Unless you are particularly close, I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary!

    Post # 5
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    @Mrs_Shelton13:  DH = Dear/darling husband.

    Grooms women would be fine. Up until like 2 years ago, I was sure my bridesmaids would at least partially be bridesmen, or I’d have like… two. lol. Nine seems to be a lot though! I’ve never really understood why people need bridesmaids/groomsmen anyway really? Aside from a maid/matron of honor and a best man. The others just sort of stand there and it requires them to spend money on clothes they’ll never wear again… lol. I wouldn’t worry about excluding anyone at this point πŸ˜‰ 

    Does he have 9 groomsmen to balance your 9 maids? If not, I’d say maybe, since they’re his sisters. But it doesn’t sound like he wants them to be on his side… in which case, I’d say you have no choice but to exclude them. However, if he doesn’t have 9 groomsmen, I would say that they could be on his side because they’re his sisters, and he doesn’t have enough guys to balance out the sides. There’s nothing wrong with having unbalanced sides, I just think it looks better/is more ideal when they are πŸ˜‰

    Post # 6
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Mrs_Shelton13:  Dear husband. Haha. Sorry!! Welcome to the bee. I will find you the abbrevations page.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Oh and welcome to the bee!!!!! =)

    Post # 11
    Member
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I have 10 bridesmaids and have been in 2 weddings where I was one of 9 bridesmaids and it was never an issue. FI has 7 GMs, so it won’t be even, but it doesn’t bother me. 

    However, I don’t think its weird to have your FI’s sisters stand on his side. It’s your day, you should do whatever makes you happy!

    Post # 12
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I was in a wedding with more than 9 bridesmaids as well as 2 MoH (one maid, one matron) and a groomswoman.  It was a freakin train wreck, on so many levels.  

    All the bridesmaids were from the same social circle and genuinely got along quite well, but trying to plan anything as a group was a nightmare.  Everything from picking the dresses (with 9 girls you will have 9 different body styles and there’s not a dress in the world or a color in the world that looks good on all of them) to coordinating schedules just plain sucked. Our processional felt like it took ages, and by the time the tallest of the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle, people were fidgeting and fussing in their seats. People just do not want to sit there while a parade happens.  Pictures before the ceremony took ages, pictures between ceremony and reception took ages, and despite the couple having three (yes three) photographers, most of the bridesmaids never made it into any of the candid shots, simply because the group was so large. 

    The bride and groom needed four limos for the wedding party— big $$$$.

    And all of this is without even factoring in what happens if those 9 ladies do not get along. You are setting yourself up for high drama potential.

    As for the groomswoman, I don’t personally find it weird but I know a lot of more traditional folks do, as do some older folks, so if it will bother you to hear negative comments for years to come, then don’t do it—- and if you don’t care what people say, or have a less traditional social circle, go for it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    I have a bridesman!  So I would have no problem with groomswomen … but I also don’t think it’s REQUIRED to include family in the bridal party.  Or to have all the bride’s who’s parties you have been in also stand up with you.  

    You’ll see several frustrating stories on here about brides who have a too large bridal party!

    Post # 14
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My one suggestion if his sisters stand up with him is to have them wear dresses of a different color, to distinguish the groomswomen from the bridesmaids… something to match the color of his suit/tux.  Some stunning black cocktail dresses would do the trick.  I totally believe that in this day and age, there is no reason the groomsmen must be male.  I think it’s better to have the people closest to you standing by your side on such a momentous occasion rather than pick someone who is less important to you simply because they have a penis.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9234 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I can offer two bits of insight:

    – we are having a small wedding party, with only our siblings included. (We’ve been together for a loooong time and picking among our friends seemed too hard.)  My sister will be on my side, his brother and sister will be on his side.  We like the idea of each being supported by our siblings.  For reference, we are both close to our siblings but certainly not best-friendy and only see them 1-4 times a year.

    – my sister got married last summer and they had no wedding party at all.  It seemed very nice and intimate and not weird at all.  I didn’t mind whatsoever that I wasn’t included in a wedding party.  However, if she did have one and didn’t include me, I would have felt hurt.  

    I would have them as groomswomen!  Why not?  They can wear BM or black dresses but stand over on his side?  Hang out with you, or him, beforehand – whichever they prefer.  And if you don’t include your FI’s sisters in the wedding party, can you have them be ushers or escorts or something?

    Post # 16
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I think it’s totally fine.  My FI was the “Man of honour” at his sister’s wedding, and she will be the “Best Woman” at ours.  AND my brother will be my “Man of honour”.  I think people recognize that family is what’s important, and no one should fault you for choosing siblings over someone of the “correct” gender. (phooey!)

    I like the idea of putting the groomswomen in black dresses.  I think black dresses are classy female versions of tuxes.

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