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Usually when my close friends and I go out to eat, we split the check according to who ate what. It can be a little annoying to do the math, especially when we get 8-10 people together, but generally no one gets upset, since we're all paying the 'fair' amount.
The other night I went to a dinner with a different group of people. There were only five of us, but the group insisted on splitting the check equally. They had ordered expensive apps and entrées as well as a few bottles of wine and I ended up paying about double what I should have owed. I tried to suggest a pay-what-you-owe approach but was quickly outvoted and it got awkward...so I decided to shut up and pay up.
I'm wondering if any of you guys have been in similar situations and good ways to handle them. It's easier with one or two other people, but it's so hard with a group! Tonight, I'm going to dinner with a group of coworkers at a pretty fancy place, and I'm sure there'll be a ton of drinking/spending $$$$. This is a goodbye dinner for a favorite coworker of mine who left the firm today, so I wanted to be there, but the place is way more expensive than I would have liked or usually go to. I really don't want to shell out $100+ to subsidize everyone else's meal, but I don't want to be rude or look cheap. What would you guys do?
I would just go up to the waiter/waitress and ask for a seperate bill for my meal and drinks. But, i agree usually when we go out witha group of friends we will either split the bll or each throw in a $20 and that will cover it.
Easy peasy. Go up to the waitperson when you enter and tell them that you want a separate bill. It used to irk me because I don't drink and I don't eat a lot. After I'd been stuck paying $100 for a $17.99 dinner and tip which I thought would be at most $30, I vowed never again. It hasn't happened to me in a long while though because my friends and I usually order in the same range ~$15. If the bill comes out to much more than I'm willing to pay, I just say "Well, I'm not paying $50 when my meal was only $20 and I didn't drink, sorry. I don't have the $$ for it that's why I ordered accordingly" But honestly, your own separate bill is the answer.
It depends on who is in the group. We have a person that likes to calculate the bill individually, we usually let him do it. If he is not there, we split evenly.
I prefer to get separate checks, or everyone pay for what you eat for that very reason. We occasionally go out with my sister, bil and his sister and husband and the sister and husband always insist on just dividing it by the number of people and it drives me insane. Next time, I would just ask the waitstaff for a separate check.
My friends have always done a "pay only what you owe" type of thing. We always have to make sure people pay tips.
If you go out with that same group of friends again, make sure you ask the waitress for your own bill. You could go up to the counter & request that. If you ask from your table & someone says something, just say you need a copy of the bill for balancing your checkbook or taxes or something.
With our friends we just split the check down the middle. Usually if someone eats or drinks more they add in extra but thats it.
In my circle of friends, we generally just split the bill evenly between all of us, but we usually share appetizers and we all drink. Especially when the cost is almost even between people, I find it rather annoying to end dinner with pens and calculators, getting it all right down to the very penny.
However, if I found myself in this situation a lot and felt like it worked out unfairly, I'd make sure to have cash. I think the easiest way is to always make sure that you have cash that you can put toward your bill and say "here's my portion."
We always split equally, but we also all get equal amounts of drinks/split appetizers, etc. I did the "pay what you owe" thing in grad school, but now that all of us make good money and splurge roughly equally, it's nice to not have to deal with the math and always having people give a couple bucks less than they owe.
We always do separate checks. Yes it's sort of a pain for the server but that way I don't have to worry about carrying cash and pay for what I eat.
We usually request separate checks from the waitstaff right off the bat to avoid the awkwardness. This is either by single person or by couple, depending on the atmosphere. I remember one time they messed it up though and it was awkward deciding if we'd just 'pay what our check said' or ask the waiter to re-do the checks altogether. Lol.
Now if we share appetizers or like a pitcher of margaritas, then we'd all pay part whether we drank it or not. But I feel that's different.
We always just ask for separate checks at the beginning of the meal. I don't think I'd continue dining out with people who insisted I pay for part of their apps and drinks.
We almost always pay for what we eat. If some of us split an appetizer or a bottle of wine, we'll split it evenly only between those of us who ate/drank the item. Also, one of us (usually me) will specify an amount for everyone to put in that will cover tax and tip.
We ask for separate checks from the beginning and usually if something is shared, it's only after someone has offered to pay for it. Like I've offered to buy a pitcher of a mixed drink to share with my SIL before or my BIL will say he'll pay for nachos for the whole table. These usually rotate pretty evenly according to who can pay at the time.
Separate checks, that is always the way to go. I know it's a pain for the server, but in the end I think it saves alot of resentment and hurt feelings. If we announce this up front, most everyone follows suit and there is no issue. When we are in a group, we usually pick up the cost of an appetizer and a bottle of housewine as well.
In this situation I would ask the waitress ahead of time to give you a separate bill, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it or even announce it to the group. Because I promise you someone or everyone will make you share the check if you admit what you're doing. Just be sly about it then announce it once you've asked for your check.
Usually though I am in the group of people who just split the check evenly. Which makes it annoying to me when someone's cheaping out not ordering drinks and skipping an appetizer or won't eat any of the shared dessert because then I feel guilty. I have a friend who refuses to even get an entree and always orders an appetizer for dinner. But she is the richest one out of all of us (not that it should matter) so I just kind of say screw it and still split the check. It's just easier for everyone and less awkward.
I always feel super uncomfortable when people want to figure out who owes what. Because unless someone just stopped in for a quick drink and didn't order any food, it's a matter of $5-$10 difference that will get worked out in the longrun since we go out together all the time.
We always do separate checks from the beginning, and we use a method that grew on us from parent groups during my sons travel hockey days when he was younger. Back then each parent would start their check under their son's hockey number and when each person on your check ordered (since we weren't always sitting right next to one another), you would say, I'm number 9. We do that now too with friends, except pre-determine who is #1, #2, etc. It makes it easier for the waitstaff, and keeps your tickets separate and accurate.
split evenly unless someone definitely had a lot less -- we always look out for that. If I have steak and three martinis, and my friend has a salad and diet coke -- then no way would I suggest she put in the same -- even if we were in a large group.
YES. I hate splitting it evenly.
With my really close friends we take turns picking up the check. They're like family and we don't keep track. It's not a big deal.
However, when I go out with larger groups of friends and acquaintances, they tend to want to split the check evenly. It drives me nuts. The worst case (which still irritates me) was we went to a place Malibu with a large party. I was just out of law school and was being very frugal - serious debt. Me and my close friend went together to celebrate another's birthday. Me and my friend each had a salad and a diet coke. We made it a point not to eat the apps, the deserts, etc. We couldnt afford it. Everyone else was ordering up a storm. Then the drinking and the shots started -that's where the big $$$ was. The bill was crazy. They didn't want to tally so they slit it evenly. I don't recall my portion now, but it was north of $200ish for a salad and diet coke. We did protest, but finally stopped because we didnt want to cause a scene - and honestly everyone was so loaded it didnt matter. More than anything its the principle that pissed me off. Also, I would have made my way through some of those apps and deserts :) I would have handled it differently today.
I'd ask for separate checks from the beginning.
With one couple, we trade off picking up the full check (not precise every other, just a vague "I think you got it last time, it's my turn) and splitting it evenly. They've hosted dinners at their house more often because our kitchen wasn't in shape for guests, we bring over the wine then.
With another group, usually we split it evenly, but we go out with these people multiple times so it washes out in the end (plus, we all tend to order about the same). If someone orders quite a bit less, we'd probably tell them not to put in as much.
With friends I don't see often, if it's roughly similar orders we'll share it equally otherwise it's likely to be a "pass the bill around the table and put in what you think is your share." People inevitably overpay their share now, which makes for a nice tip for the waiter.
So mostly, it's the ones who ordered more paying attention and telling others not to pay as much, it's a willingness to pay more because it's not worth the hassle plus knowing you'll see these folks again often. If I wasn't going to see them often, I'd be a bit bugged likely, but figure well, it won't happen again for a good while. If it were a drunken party difference of $50+ (really dani, you paid like $175 extra!?) I would just say "this is $30 for my sald and coke" and refuse to pay more. Works better if you have the cash though, harder to say when paying by credit card. :)
Oh, when paying w/multiple credit cards, we try to keep it very simple for the waitstaff. All on one, divide in two or by thirds, etc. According to a former waitress, writing it on the bill what you want done is best, marked by type of card not by name.
ETA: I remember going to a birthday party of a friends about 8 years ago. We didn't know anyone other than the birthday friend. People came late, and loads left early - without leaving enough to pay their share so we were hundreds shy (there were ~20 people). We paid some extra but the friend's roommate ended up picking up the bulk of it. We felt bad, but weren't about to pay for people we'd never see again (and names we didn't know) - at least the roommate worked with those people and could shake them down for their share later. That's the last time I can remember people being cheap and not covering their share - usually people overpay. They were all in grad school, I know people in school tend to be very conscious about finances but tipping is part of paying for dinner!
We always split it evenly. The only group I ever go out to eat with are my 3 best friends and we always normally eat/drink around the same amount. If one person throws back a pitcher of margaritas then I'll/she'll throw in a few extra bucks but that rarely happens. Splitting it evenly just makes it easier. If we had to actually split the check based on what we ate/drank, it would take us like a half hour to figure out what everyone owes. We don't have that kinda time!
Really just depends on who I am going with. Normally within my immediate group of friends, all of us fight over the check, so 1 person somehow always pays for everyone. Usually I am the winner there. It is rare for us to pay individually. Only time we pay individually is when we go somewhere that is really expensive. But that doesn't happen often.
I'm a separate checks gal. I rarely order a beverage other than water just because I don't drink and I don't like soda. Growing up we were always conscious of how much our meals were, and I guess that's carried through into adulthood for me. I get a little miffed when I'm out with a group and 4 or 5 people down 3 bottles of expensive wine and I get asked to pay for it :-/
As others have said, I'll just ask right away that my check be separate. I don't feel bad, because as a former server, I know that it's not all that much work as some of them make it out to be.
We usually ask for a separate check, but in the cases where it's more difficult, or we didn't get a chance to get to the waitstaff prior, we just make sure we know how much we owe and put that it. It's been helpful that we're trying a cash system right now (and going well!) so that we can just drop the cash.
We were just out with a big group of people for my BIL's bday. Now, I've met his sis and a couple of their friends, but it was mostly people we didn't know. Who ordered appetizers, drinks, and us lowly, poor grad students enjoyed our water and cheap entree. I dropped in the $30 we owed (and I only included tax on our bill...I was not going to pay sales tax on $300). It was fine.
Being poor uni kids, my friends and I always ask for separate checks, but its generally whoever orders a round of drinks or appetizers to share that will pay that extra. Then of course someone always covers the birthday person if its a celebration of some sort, but thats only if you volunteer.
Separate checks unless its something like pizza or chinese that we're all going to share then we split the bill equally.
Every weekend we go out to eat with friends, normally about six of us. We've never had a waiter or waitress not ask us how we want out check. The normal for us is, "Separate, but mine and her's is together", since my bf and I are the only couple. Don't feel bad for asking for separate checks!
There might have been one or two cases when the checks weren't separate...in that case usually one person pays, then the others will treat them to whatever else we are doing (movies, bowling, etc.). We hangout so often it equals out!
Hmmmm kind of depends. When I'm just out with like one other friend a lot of times I'll just pick up the whole check and then they'll do it the next time and I figure it evens out. Same with if we're out with a couple we don't see super often or someone is in from out of town. Otherwise if we're out with a group, usually as we're ordering I'll just say-- by the way we're on a separate check kthx. :)
I hate the awkward figuring, but I also hate the even splitting because my DH doesn't drink at all and if I drink its like 1. We would always been on the losing end of an even splitting situation since most of my friends could easily put away 3, 4, 5+ drinks.
I cannot believe in this whole thread no one has mentioned the friends episode!
Everyone ends up paying more when the bill is split evenly because someone will take advantage of it. There's an incentive to order more than you'd want because technically everyone else is subsidizing most of what you ordered.
If you don't behave that way, by ordering more than you usually do, you get crazy punished. You will end up subsidizing someone else's splurges. So you're incentivized to order an expensive app, expensive entree, drink several drinks, etc, to take advantage of this fact. If you don't, you subsidize everyone else.
So.. I prefer paying for what you ordered or separate checks when available.
Depends on who I/we are with. We go out for birthdays at my work and everyone gets separate checks even when there are like 12+ people in attendance. I don't think it's that big a deal as long as they know beforehand. I've worked in restaurants before too.
If SO and I are out with a couple friends, probably separate checks; if it's another couple, we might go back and forth and pay for each other or split between couples.
I have never been in a situation where anyone suggested splitting the bill evenly. I would never agree to that, but I will pay for what I eat plus fair tip.
We always just divide the check based on the number of people or couples. I have never been at a dinner where we figured out who ate/drank what and have only done separate checks when there was a very large group and people are arriving and leaving at different times.
Tell the server at the beginning of the meal that you want individual checks. It's easy for them to do so at the beginning of the meal, and everyone pays for what they ordered no confusion.
Please don't make your server separate who got what at the end. It's time consuming and annoying. Servers don't have that kind of time!
Unless we're paying for everyone, we ask for separate checks.
We've never had a problem doing it that way.
If we all generally share appetizers, order similarly priced entrees, and drink, we will split the bill with the group. But if there is quite a large discrepancy, DH will usually voice what we owe, and pay that.
In my culture we order several different dishes and share them, thus we just split the bill equally. It's easy! When someone drinks more then they will usually volunteer to pay more.
I think, next time you dine with the same group you should insist on getting your own separate bill. It's only fair this way, because honestly I feel like they KNOW that what they are doing isn't fair to some people.
If we got to a restaurant that is family style we all split the check evently. Any other place and we get separate checks, or vaguely figure out what we owe.
If they (the restaurant) won't split the check (some won't) then we usually just figure out what each of use owes. I usually just look for my food and round up (ex: 8.49 goes up to 9.00, 1.23 drink goes up to 2) and then i just add a few more bucks for the tip. we've never had a problem yet.
My husband was just telling me about some article he was reading about this very thing. Basically it said when you're younger, you divvy up the check by who ate what, but as you get older and everyone at the table is out of school, you just split it evenly because it's easier and it all evens out in the end.
This is how I see it:
If you go out shopping w/ your girlfriend and she picks up a pair of $100 shoes and you picks up a $50 pair, would she expect you to cover the difference then, and you each go in 50/50 at $75 each? I hope not!
Why should it be different for food? You pay for what you ate. You didn't eat their food. You didn't drink their booze. Why should you pay for it?
If we're out with family, someone (normally FI's parents) grab the bill and won't let anyone pay. If it's friends, we split. It doesn't make sense to do it any other way.
Most times we just ask for separate checks. Sometimes when going out with just another couple we will just split the bill since its usually pretty even.
usually when the check comes everyone figures out how much they owe, and then pays their own portion. rather than having the waiter split the bill beforehand, it's common in my social circle to put in multiple credit cards, writing the amount to charge to each card on the back of the check, and cash for people who carry it. i only have ever split evenly if it comes out evenly. it's kind of a headache to have to do the math (though much easier with cell phones w/ calculators and such), but it's what's fair. what sucks though is at happy hours or something like that where people are coming and going and don't leave enough to cover what they purchased + tip + tax, and then whoever is left at the end of the night ends up picking up the tab...that doesn't happen as much anymore now that i'm a little older, but the first couple years out of college there were some nights where people would end up having to pay much more than they owed at the end of the evening. now it's more common for people to throw in too much money, and then come out with a really generous tip or everyone getting back like an extra buck or two
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