Post # 1
I am a lurker not a poster 🙂 I just kinda wanted to see if anyone has been feeling what I’ve been feeling lately. I have just felt that over the past few 1-2 years, I have grown apart from a couple of my (used to be) close friends. I don’t know if it’s any single reason, but I feel like our lives are just in different places. They have done nothing wrong to me, but I don’t click with them as I do with my other close friends. At least one of them is hurt just because I haven’t kept in touch as much but I am not sure what to tell that friend really, ya know? I wish I could tell them a reason but I kinda fell out of the friendship, like one falls out of love? I also don’t like conflict or else I would be able to tell her these things. Any advice? Am I a bad person?
Post # 2
Your not a bad person to feel this way. I have friends who are at different stages in their lives but I know I will catch up to them. My advice to you is even though you are at different paths in your lives, try to make time for those you are close to and do something you both like to do. good friends make time for each other regardless of different life stages.
Post # 3
sweetlily: nope. Not a bad person at all. Its more common than you think.
I went through this with my best friend. I spoke to her daily, sometimes multiple times a day. We would meet up any chance we got. As soon as I got married, it was like someone flipped a switch. I never heard from her when I got back from my honeymoon. A whole year went by and I barely talked to her. But she made time to hang out with the group of girls I was friends with who she has now become closer with. And it hurt.
I finally approached hwr and she admitted that she could not be happy for me bc she was not happy with her life. She said alot more hurtful things to me that I wont say bc its too long of a story. But basically I realized she was not a friend at all. I found out things that she said about the wedding through DH and my aunt and I knew it wasn’t crap bc I obviously trust my DH and aunt and she has said those things before about other people to me.
I moved on. I am done trying to mend a relationship. It takes two to make a relationship work and she didnt put any effort into it. We had a heart to heart and made up but she never picked up the phone. So I stopped.
Like you said, you are in a different place in your life and thats fine. People change and grow and go in different directions.
make time for the people in your life that make time for you.
Post # 4
sweetlily: This happens all the time. After I got married most of my friends stopped talking to me. Not all at once, but slowly they would make plans without me. I felt like they had decided for me that since i was a married woman i was not able to attend dinners or go to the mall or whatever. The same thing often happens when you have a baby, seems some people just dissappear from your life. I wouldnt worry about it.
Post # 5
sweetlily: Not what anyone wants, but these things have a way of slowly happening as we get older. I think it’s just a natural way of friendships that haven’t grown over the years to fizzle out. It’s a little sad but it’s for the best in my opinion.
Post # 6
I have a friend like this. I planned on falling away from her after her wedding and that is exactly what I have done.
Not because she got married, but because her wedding brought out the worst of her and her mom. I saw their true colors and it made me realize that we were raised completely different. I’m sure they are saying the same thing about me but whatever.
I made several post about it and every person told me that it happens all the time. People grow apart.
Post # 7
Life changes, and that’s ok. People’s priorities change as we grow older and experience more life events.
Post # 8
sweetlily: I had a friend phase me out like you are because she didn’t like conflict. And it hurt… a lot.
If you don’y want to be friends anymore at least talk to her so she doesn’t waste a ton of time trying to be your friend and being hurt/confused as to why you’re ignoring her.
People fade from each other, it happens all the time. But, you should at least talk to her about it.
Post # 9
Friends come and go, whether you’ve known them for 1 month or 10 years. its just life. You get used to it.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
Definitely not a bad person at all. I would say you are a normal person. I notice my friendships change with time. They are still friends but it’s not the same as before. I also notice I am becoming more of a loner too.
Post # 11
I appreciate your responses. I guess I do owe this one friend some sort of explanation, as we used to talk every day and were like sisters. We at first started talking less because she started a new job so our communication was reduced somewhat. But then I just felt like I had less and less in common with her as the months passed. I think I will write her an e-mail and just apologize for not staying in touch as much and explain to her that I think we’ve also grown apart a little bit? Hopefully she responds fairly.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2014 - backyard
I hate it when this happens, but it does happen. I have grown apart from a few of my close friends, at the beggining I used to feel guilty about it and will always try and make an effort to stay in touch. But then at times I realised I was the only one making all the effort, now I have excepted it chose to let the friendships go, we nolonger connect on the same level. My bestfriend now is my FI, and I cant wait to be his wife.
Post # 13
I have just lost one of my best friends since becoming married. It sucks but it is part of life. 🙁
Post # 14
email could be a good idea.
I lost two of my bf that I had since I was 17, Im 26.
We just fell apart after I came back from Australia [I was 24]
They were still into partying really hard every wknd whereas I have changed my priorities and dont like wasting away every weekend feeling hungover. And also started getting into drugs that I am not keen on at all. I tried to keep in touch regardless and try to have dinner dates during the week but i felt i was always the one texting and trying to make plans..
It happens alot more often than you think bee.