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If it's someone who continuely calls and says they will come by and then doesn't, I would stop going out of my way for them. Harsh but it's annoying as heck when you bust your butt for someone and they blow you off.
Umm, that would tick me off to no end! I'm very, well, let's say anal, about these kinds of things (plans, arrangements, etc.). If you're not showing up, call me and at least tell me!
That's so rude. I would start telling people, "if you change your plans, please let me know, just because I usually have to shift my work schedule around and such." If it still keeps happening, I would just stop being such a gracious host.
It is annoying, because it is a different person each time (though the ones who don't even call are always FH's family). My sister's friend did it once, but she called to tell me she was going to keep driving, and there was a winter storm following her, so it was safer for her to keep ahead of it (therefore it was totally understandable) ...
I try not to be so perfectionistic about hosting people - but I come from a long line of crazy german women (if you come from a newly-immigrated german family you will understand the hosting insanity), so it is a hard habit to break ...
Now I have a big tray of bite-sized pastries, and a freezer with hors d'oeuvres ... sigh, there goes healthy eating for a few days!!
I think you and your FI need to be clear with these would-be guests that you are rearranging you life to accomodate them. If they ask if it will be ok if they can drop by on Thursday say something like "Sure, that will be great! I'll have hosrs d'oeuvres and drinks ready for you. And please make sure to give us a phone call when you are on your way because I'm trading shifts to be open that night!" It lets them know that you are making time for them (they are important) AND not to flake out (because it would inconvenience you!).
What a crappy thing to do to you, I'm sorry! 
Aww... that is annoying :( You sound like you are a great hostess, and I would be irritated too if I went to all that trouble and people didn't even bother to let me know they weren't coming. It's one thing to do it once and forget to call, but quite another thing if people are habitually doing that to you. I think that warrents a conversation the next time they ask to "stop by" during which you or FH tell them that while you would love to see them, you want to make sure they are actually coming because you will be changing your work schedule, etc. I'm sure there is a tactful way to put that :)
In the meantime, I think you should applaud yourself on being such a gracious hostess- it is a skill that I am still working on, and I admire anyone to whom it comes naturally. :)
I would be super annoyed if I were in your situation. I definitely agree with Mightysapphire, you should let people know how much time and effort you put into hosting them and to let you know if they are unable to come. Maybe people figure you wouldn't do much if they are "just stopping by". By letting them know, they would understand how much of an inconvenience it is to you that they don't show up and don't call you to let you know.
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Alright - the background on the situation, me and FH live in a city 3 hours away from our hometown, but it is on the major highway to the next province so people are regularly "passing through" if they travel for work, and FH's family passes through a lot when they travel to visit each other.
We have opened our home to anyone who needs a place to stop for a rest, crash for a night, a meal and a drink whatever - we just ask that they give us a heads up (I am a nurse, so my shifts vary and FH works long hours often, so we need to know so we can make sure someone is home)
Several times now, people have called us and told us they were going to stop in for a dinner, or whatever as they pass through. So I clean and scrub and make sure the house is spotless, the fridge is stocked with a bunch of different drinks, have hors d'oeuvres, and treats and sometimes a meal ready to go for when they come through.
Then I wait and wait and wait for them to show up - often beginning to worry that they haven't made it (did they get into an accident?) and then when I call them they tell me they decided to keep on driving!?!?!
WTH!?!? I do all this work, stay home from work, or trade shifts, and then they don't even have the decency to call to tell me they can't make it?
I think I am a pretty good host, I always have pretty much any pop, coffee, tea, etc you could want, the house is brand-new and well kept, my pets are friendly and cuddly, and whenever we have people over they always seem to have a good time.
I don't really know many people in our new city, so other than our trips back to our hometown I am pretty lonely and like the visits ..
I guess my feelings are just hurt because FMIL and FH's aunt just passed by, told us they would stop in, and then when FH called to see where they were his mom told him they had arrived home already.