- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
Ok, this might be long. So my parents got divorced when I was very young. My biological father (we’ll call him bio dad) stopped seeing me when I was 4. It wasn’t his weekend to get me and he wanted to switch weekends. Couldn’t do that b/c there were friends spending the weekend. So anyway, from that point up until about 5 years ago, we had no contact. I finally decided to get his address from my aunt (his sister) and wrote him a letter. Now, I never was under the illusion that we would have a father/daughter relationship. I have that with my stepdad.
When Fiance and I got engaged, bio dad said he wasn’t going to come to the wedding b/c he didn’t want there to be drama. I got really upset by this and kind of pitched a fit. Eventually he said he’d come. This was before I had spent any time with him. Now that I know he’s an alcoholic and is completely rude, I don’t really want him there.
I emailed him and told him that I apologized for pitching a fit before and that if he really felt uncomfortable coming to the wedding, I would understand. I didn’t want him to feel any pressure to be there or not be there. So, he writes me back today and says that he doesn’t mind being there as long as my mom doesn’t start any BS and ruin my day. WHAT????? I was FLOORED! First of all, he and my mom haven’t spoken since I was 4. Second of all, my mom is a mature woman who would NEVER do something like that. She knows how to act like a dignified human being. She is always polite to most people (we have family that she doesn’t care for and lets it be known) and would rather walk away from someone than start an argument.
Now I really don’t want him there! Not if he’s going to insult my mom like that. She busted her ass to support me and my sister with NOTHING from him. He NEVER paid child support. Nothing! Oh, I’m seeing red right now. I emailed him back and asked him what exactly he meant by all that. I also told him I thought it was necessary for him to know that my stepdad is walking me down the aisle and we will NOT be doing a father/daughter dance. Now I am wondering if I want to include him in the actual ceremony at all or just treat him like another guest. I am really just stunned that he would say something like that!