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Sheesh, if never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be... I think you should have your FI call/email/contact him somehow and explain to him that it's a small, intimate wedding, and that you simply don't have room for his +3. Since your FI was the one who insisted on invitingh him, it should be your FI who handles it!
Very simply. You call and say, "I'm sorry we have only reserved a space for you and one guest. I look forward to seeing you there, but understand if you cannot attend, if you have trouble finding care for your children blah blah blah."
Rude! Late and rude.
Ooohhh that sucks. We had a few of those....also had a few that never returned the RSVP and just showed up...with additional guests of their own....Anyway...Can you send a note or something saying something like "We're so so glad you can join us. Unfortunately, we have limited space and cannot accomodate two extra individuals ( you could add "at the reception" so it seems like you are trying)."? You can always (nicely) blame it on the late RSVP-saying you had to get the numbers in and it's not possible to accomodate that number after the numbers are in. Is it possible they won't come? I stopped attending stuff with my parents if I didn't really know the people during my teen years. Maybe they will do the same? Good luck!
Centerpieces.JPG (64.9 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old Votives.JPG (20.3 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old 
You know, I was thinking about using the "you were late, I had to get my numbers in" excuse, and I may do that. It's just one more stupid thing I don't want to deal with. Last night I found out that my Aunt and cousin (who is my MOH) might not be able to make it because my aunt is really, really sick, which really stressed me out. All I want to do is go hide my head under my pillow and have a big pity party. I just hope my extremely non-confrontational FI will put his big boy pants on and deal with this situation ASAP.
I have had a few people who were single add dates. Since these particular people are friends with at least 10 or 15 other guests, I had no problem gently informing them that based on space restrictions we can't accomodate extra guests. Especially since you are having a smaller wedding, there is NO reason not to be (politely) clear. But yeah, definitely have your fiance talk to him, that should not be your concern.
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We are purposefully keeping our wedding very small, basically just family and close friends. For some reason my FI felt obligated to invite this really random guy who helped us out a few times when we were dealing with some issues at an old rental property. I never wanted to invite this guy and came very close to "accidently" loosing his invite. Anyway, since it's 6 days after our rsvp date we assumed he wasn't coming. Then today I get his rsvp and he added "+3 (my kids)" ... and I'm really pissed. His kids are teenagers, I don't know them and I don't want them there. I don't mind if he brings a date, or 1 guest, but it's ridiculous and frankly very rude of him to assume he can bring the whole freakin family to our intimate wedding. How do I deal with this?