- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
My first post. 🙂 so bare with me.
Background: DH and i have been together for 7 years before this wedding. There was a lot of pressure to marry after his brother did (just from his family). His family lives in the same small town as us.
When we got engaged i had expected them to help out more but they just didnt really seem to care when it came down to the wedding. I had the wedding in the next town over (closer for my family-its half way to my home town and his but just a days ferry ride) I could tell his dad thought it was inconvenient. I would have thought that his mom would have helped since well my husband works out of town all the time. so it was just me planning a wedding and my mom is 1000 miles away. His parents pretty much stayed out of town the last six months i was engaged. And we are really close so i didnt really understand. i mean they work in and out of town but i felt like they were ignoring me.
They are helping my DH with a loan for our new commercial fishing boat. as in a co-signer and prob any quick money my DH might need. (we just got married may 10) but my parents payed for it and my mom is just a janitor. (my wedding was pretty cheap as far as weddings go) While his family is def. rich compared to ours.
Well His parents didnt offer to help with the wedding, no card or anything and they were late to the reception. which i thought was strange. like an hour later than us. his dad was not smily during the photos. So i just felt like instead of being closer , im farther away from them.
Now i feel this way with my BIL’s wife. who i was asked to make a BM. We were really close but had a falling out. Me and her were getting really close during the engagment. She was a hairdresser in mexico and was going to do my BM hair. I told her how i wanted them up and mine down because of my mom. i had been talking about it for a year. we went to breakfast the morning of the wedding and she told me she couldnt do their hair or get ready with me cuz she had to help the guys get ready…..talked to the guys. she didnt help at all. i guess she went to walmart or seomthing. And…..i feel like a totally B- for thinking this but she wore her hair just the way i wore mine. WTH. funny thing is i didnt realize till i seen the pictures:( she was the only one i talked to about it for a year!!! the other BMs got it??? There were other things taht just made it seem like she ( and her husband since he wasnt the BestM) didnt care.
I have tried to get over it all but there is a part of me that takes these things to personally. i mean we got so much pressure (from them!) to get married, to have them give us sort of a cold shoulder. It made me wish i just eloped or that i really wish i didnt do so many things just to please people who actually didnt care.
Has anyone felt this or over come it? Am i just being a bitch? I try to get over it but some times i think about it and feel so angry.
As far as my SIL, i feel like she is constently trying to compete with me. At first i thought it was in my head but she has turned out to be quite the sabotager. This going on for years. (DH thinks so too. so im not too flipping crazy) I just dont know how to ignore it or let it go. I have tried talking to SIL about it but she always plays dumb.
if anything i at least got this off my chest. thanks ladies!