Grumpy waiting day

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Creiddylad:  Awww hugs. It’s rough. I know. It’ll get better, and just because you might not think there’s time, he might have something planned that he doesn’t want you to know about yet.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Creiddylad:  I’m of the mind that a man will propose when he wants to and the more a woman nags, the less likely he is to do it. It doesn’t need to be a big, elaborate, grand gesture. I would have married my FI if he had asked me in the kitchen. It’s the meaning that’s important, not how it’s done (just my opinion of course).

For me, I lived with my FI and I knew I had a commitment of his heart before I got my ring. That is the most important part to me. There are plenty of married folks who are not committed and plenty of folks who live common law who are. The nature of every relationship is different so I don’t care about the “status” of mine so long as we are happy and committed.

Also, for me, asking my parents wasn’t important. The only person FI needed to get permission from is me. I am not a piece of property transferring from my dad to my FI – I’ve always balked at this “permission” thing. I got engaged after 3 months of dating and I never brought it up once. I think that’s why I got engaged after 3 months to be honest 😛

Post # 7
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Creiddylad:  I was venting before. Argh… same thing about the parents. We will see my parents in two weeks and then perhaps one year later. they live very very far away, so aasking dad for the hand might mean the proposal is immediate or can be months. He might suprise you. In my case i think he mught ask my dad for the hand but then I will have to wait for a proposal which is stressful. I even thought about ordering the photograher for engagement photos when we are visiting my family, but i did not mentionthis to SO as it seems very desperate. Proposals usually happen and are nice when couple is away but he might plan something. I started wishing for a proposal in a baloon! Crazy 😉 I fear the propsala might be not as exciting as I would hope for… been waiting for so long

Post # 9
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Creiddylad:  why don’t you tell him he doesn’t need to ask your parents before the engagement? Get engaged and then have him ask your parents’ blessing but not permission?

Post # 11
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Let me tell you…

I was caught in left field when it happened. My friends and family had money on it but I did not think for a second it would happen.

We were in the midlde of buying our house so he was stressed with that, he was waiting on hearing if he got a promotion, he had two out of town trainings he was preparing for. I thought he was too occupied to even think about doing it.

Little did I know he had the ring since March and proposed in May.

You never know!!

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Creiddylad:  I don’t think you should feel disrespected at all. In fact, I believe actions speak louder than words and he is already living with you, acting like a husband (I assume), and showing you he is committed. That means so much more than a ring or the “will you marry me?” ever will. I think a lot of times gals are fighting to get what they already have!

The formality is important to my FI as well (though I could care LESS), so I am going to have an “official” ceremony even though we are already legally married (common law). I can understand that it is nice to make the formal vows, but to be honest, I’m just excited for the vacation! We are doing a 2 week weddingmoon and who doesn’t want to be at the beach for 2 weeks? 😀

Post # 15
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@MrsPanda99:  I like the idea of my boyfriend asking my dad’s permission. My dad’s raised me alone since I was 3 years old, and we’re extremely close. Everyone knows the proposal is coming. My boyfriend and I just met with a jeweler yesterday to design my ring, and he’s putting a downpayment on it next week. I’ve sent pictures to my dad and everything. But there’s still something about that bonding moment of my boyfriend formally asking for my hand, and my dad giving the blessing. It’s pretty deeply rooted in my partciular culture, so that could be it, but I still really love the idea that they’ll have that moment together. 

Post # 16
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Creiddylad:  Don’t feel too bad. In the grand scheme of things, 4 years isn’t that long. My manager just got married earlier this year, and they had been dating for 10 years. 

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