Guess not attending because it's a Catholic wedding

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I hate church weddings and I was raised Catholic. I’ve skipped them on days that I had to work bc I’d rather be at work lol. But I’ve only done that for people I hardly see and I’ve used work as the excuse. I went to those receptions.

My jewish best friend was my other friend’s best man in a full Catholic mass wedding. I hope they suck it up for you.

Post # 4
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BeeRod527:  my fiancé’s (immediate) family are ex-Catholics and we are having a catholic ceremony (and will also be raising our children catholic) and they have been supportive. They still go to their family members communions and christenings as well. i would be hurt and I’m sure my fiancé would be if they decided to boycott the ceremony. What you believe in, shouldn’t affect their support of the marriage. 

ETA: my dads gay cousins have attended all of the catholic weddings in their family. They are there to support the couple, not the church. 

Post # 5
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@BeeRod527:  

I am so sorry you are going through this *hugs* I hope these friends/family? will hopefully change their mind and just suck it up and be happy for you. Even if it is not their religion they should be the better person and attend to show respect for you and your FI regardless if their view is different than yours. Be thankful your other friends who share a different relgion than you are attending and are greatful to watch you celebrate your marriage. Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee

@BeeRod527:  I kind of understand why your gay cousin does not want to attend. Tho, the new pope has spoken in support of gays, there haven’t been any steps to make changes yet. It is hard to get over that. As for the rest of your family, I’m sorry. I wish people could overlook some things for a few hours. 

Post # 7
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@BeeRod527:  I haven’t had anyone that I invited do that.  However, at my parents wedding my dad’s immediate family (who are jehovah witness’s – parents and siblings) didn’t attend their wedding because it was mathodist religion based (my mother is methodist). Since my grandfather died when I was little then they’ve lightened up on their religious stance… but I know my mom is still pissed about it, but happy they are more than happy to come to mine

Post # 8
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

There was moaning about our church wedding… but everyone came in the end. Hooray!

To be honest, I think that people will generally just suck it up and come, even if they complain initially.

Post # 9
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BeeRod527:  We are getting married in the church, full mass.  Most of our friends are non-Catholic.  You better bet your luck pennies that they all show up to the ceremony.  My biggest pet peeve is when people show up only to the reception.  In our RSVPs it simply asked if guests were coming to the ceremony.  Then it went on to say on our wedding website that the reception was our thank you for coming to the ceremony.

Post # 10
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I think guests using weddings for a religious stance is stupid and rude. This isnt about your personal beliefs its about a couple getting married. The only time another religion would be an issue for me at a wedding is if it was rudely thrown in my face in a manner that tried to state all other beliefs are wrong. This is extremely rare though. I know one woman on the board a few months back was talking about having an athiest ceremony that rubbed at religion and that struck me the wrong way entirely and I found that exceedingly rude. Most religious ceremonies aren’t this way though they’re simply wedding ceremonies and though the bits and pieces maybe different at the end of the day the point of them is that two people are getting married and over all they are pretty much the same. I find it fairly rude that your guests are more concerned with your personal beliefs and telling you that they are wrong than the celebration of joining two lives together. I would be forgiving of this pettyness but I would probably remove them from my life permanently just the same. I have a real issue with people who behave in this manner and rather than deal with their crap I just dont.

Post # 11
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mamadingdong:  yeah good point. OP I get the gay family member noy attending, esp bc it’s a wedding, not just mass or a christening. The church wants to exclude them from having that right.  It’s not too far from segregation, kinda.

Post # 12
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

(( HUGS )) to you.

That is soooo sad.

Unfortunately some people have to make everything about them… and cannot see that sometimes things aren’t meant to be that way in life at all.  We have to take the high road and be bigger than that for the sake of others.

As an Etiquette Snob, I have to say that it is in poor taste to “choose” to just attend the Reception (the thank you) if one doesn’t have a darn good reason for not attending the Ceremony.

Not liking the church, or a particular denomination, isn’t a good enough reason IMO.

It isn’t about “the church” in that moment, it is all about the couple and the love that they are commiting to / celebrating.

If someone cannot rejoice in that… then don’t go to any of it !!

 

Post # 13
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@BeeRod527:  I’m sorry to hear that.  It seems unfair for guests to take your big day and turn it into something about themselves.  Pretty much everyone we know is Catholic, so it was totally normal to have a full mass for our wedding.  I hope your guests decide to come in the end.

Post # 14
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Around here it’s not uncommon to  skip the church if you’re not close, but that’s usually bc there’s a 2+ hour gap. 

Post # 16
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry you have to deal with that! If they just didn’t show up to the ceremony, you probably would never have known! But people always have to get on their soap box…

Either way, your ceremony is going to be amazing!

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