Post # 1
Wow. So my last two posts detailed all the issues I am having with FI’s family. Without rehashing it all, they do not approve of our union or of me at all.
I have been judged and belittled since I met them. I am significiantly younger than FI and his family has a huge issue with it. They also take issue with the way I parent both my autistic daughter and my stepson.
It all came to a head this week with both little A and I sobbing hysterically. His family told me I caused little A’s autism, if in fact that is what’s wrong with her.
I ended my engagement with Mr A because I simply cannot commit to a life of this. We both cried a lot. He is refusing to accept the engagement is over. I think I am too.
Mr. A came down on his family hard. He has asked them repeatedly to back of me and my daughter. They have lied to him and said it was over when it fact it wasn’t. Mr. A packed all his stuff that was at his parents vacation home and told them he would not see them again until they can accept his new family.
So last night I get an apology from his mother and other family members. The only family member I get along with begged me to stay with Mr. A, telling me that leaving him will crush him.
I don’t know what to think anymore. i can’t guarantee they will stop but I do at least take some peace in the fact that they apologized.
I’m not ready to start planning our wedding next year. Mr. A and I are going to couples counseling and then family counseling with our two kids.
I did wake up with my engagement ring back on my finger. Mr. A must have slipped it on when I was sleeping.
I do love him and his son so much.
Post # 3
I am so glad he stood up to his family and that there was an apology.
It may be a hard road but it sounds like you have a good plan for how to work on things.
Post # 4
He slid it back on when you were sleeping. That gave me goose pimples. Do not leave this man over his family. My MIL apologized to me, also, only to start her antics again a few months later. I married HIM, not her and he has to deal with her if she wants to be so unreasonable. I say it’s time you get married and live happily ever after, evil MIL be damned!
Post # 5
Ok, the engagement ring thing almost made me cry!
As for the apology, it’s a step in the right direction. They’ve put you through hell and I don’t think a simple apology will make it all better but maybe it’s a start. Mr. A loves you and you love him. You are his family now and he knows that. It seems as though he’s prepared to completely walk away from his wretched family if this shit continues and if it comes down to it, let him. You and little A are what’s important to him. I know you’ve said that you couldn’t allow him to sever ties with his family but he’s an adult and he knows what’s right for him. He chose you, he got stuck with them.
Post # 6
You’re obviously still thinking in the terms that you are still engaged and planning to marry him by using the words “future in laws.” That’s a good thing.
Good luck with counseling, it can really help.
Post # 7
I’m so glad to read your update and to see that maybe hopefully things have taken a turn for the better. It wont happen overnight (with his family) but maybe now they see how committed he is to you and will make an effort. My heart is happy that you and Mr. A are engaged again, and I dont see anything at all wrong with postponing the wedding while you work things out and give his family time to prove to you that they are willing to change. Good luck and I do believe you WILL be the soontobeMrsA hehe 🙂
Post # 8
I’m glad he stoop up to them! I hope that counseling will help you work everything out…and that his parents meant their apology.
Post # 9
Wow this is intense. His family is finally seeing they can’t treat you like crap and expect him to put up with their nonsense. Hopefully they’re scared enough of losing him from their bad behavior that they’ll actually change FOR REAL.
Post # 10
I’m happy he stood up to them and that you got an apology. It may not be a fix all, but it’s a start. Hopefully they understand that he means business now. From what you said in your post your FI sounds like a wonderful, seet, and caring man. I hope things go well with counseling and that you both can continue to share a happy life together.
Post # 11
@SoontobeMrsA: I really think you should stay with him. You seem to know what you are doing with the counseling, etc. He obviously really loves you. So glad they apologized. Remember it really is just about “your” little family of 4.
Post # 12
It sounds like things are moving in the right direction. Hopefully they’ll continue to act nicely around you and counseling will help!
Post # 12
Mr. A is a phenomenal man and father. He loves me and my little girl very much. He has taken on the role of father to a little girl with some really special needs.
Sometimes, I think God made him just for me.
I realize we have issues we need to work out but yes I do believe we will end up married with a white picket fence.
Post # 12
This is HUGE! If he’s willing to stand up to his family like this you have to stay with him!!!!!!!
I’m so glad they apologized – you do not deserve to be treated like that!
Post # 13
I’m really glad that they apologized, although we’ll see how it goes. What this whole thing does show is just how much Mr. A loves you. And the engagement ring slipped on? Made me tear up 🙂
Post # 14
I just want to wrap you and your daughter up in hugs for what you’ve had to put up with. That is one awfully sweet man you have there. I’m all misty eyed, too. I wish all of you the very very best.