Guest attendance drama

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Out of curiosity, where do your relatives live? If they are coming from halfway round the world, then it’s a very long and very expensive trip for them. Coukd they be having some financial issues that you don’t know about which they may not have anticipated when they initially said they’d attend. Potentially what happened was – your cousin already for bad about not going. Then she misinterpreted your text to mean that you were mad at her (which you are a bit it would seem), and perhaps took the not wanting to guilt trip statement as meaning that you thought she’d only come out of obligation or guilt when she actually wanted to be there. Then her husband saw her crying, perhaps didn’t get the full story, and sent you an angry email.

 

It is easy for texts, emails etc to be misinterpreted. Basically you can lose a lot of the nuances that would have been there in your voice, so it’s easy for things to come across in the wrong way. Why don’t you have a proper conversation with your cousin (via Skype not email). See if you can straighten this out. 

Post # 5
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Even though that guy (rudely) inserted himself in this issue, this started, and should be resolved between you and your cousin only.

I second PP, you should skype her. Don’t tell her how angry her husband was, if she doesn’t know how he reacted. Just apologize for the misunderstanding, tell her you’re so excited she’ll be at the wedding, and that you really appreciate the lengths they’re going to make it to see you.

I would also ignore anymore correspondence from her husband. If he for some reason gets angry about your conversation with your cousin, just ignore him and only talk to her about the wedding from here on out.

I also hope that there won’t be any residual bad feelings/attitude from your cousin’s husband when they actually get there. If there is, maybe your FI can just handle him.

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