posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1355 posts
Bumble bee

Tell your fiance she’s coming and you thought about it being a surprise but realized it was a little weird to surprise him with an old girl friend at your wedding and so decided to just tell him so it wasn’t weird and overly dramatic considering he will also be so busy with all of your other guests and of course you.

Post # 4
3644 posts
Sugar bee

She sounds histrionic and needy. My guess is that she’d cause drama and she shouldn’t be invited. Let your FH e-mail her and say that he’s sorry, but she’s not invited. A long message, begging you to let her come to the wedding, doesn’t sound right, to me. If she shows up anyway, does your venue have security?

Post # 5
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When you told your FI, and you got into an argument, what was the argument about?

I almost feel like you said she could come, so that this WOULD stir up some drama…I don’t understand why you would say yes.  It’s very easy to say, “No, I’m sorry, we just don’t have anymore room for guests”  – or something along those lines – especially via email/Facebook.

Post # 6
413 posts
Helper bee

sounds like she wants to profess her love to him or something. I don’t know anyone who would waste that kind of money on someone they haven’t seen in 6 years. I would tell her sorry but your guest list is at capacity. 

Post # 7
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If she’s coming, tell her that you’re going to tell him she is coming.  It’s still a nice surprise, but you don’t want him to be distracted from what he’s there for… the wedding.

And she sounds like a weirdo.

Post # 9
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yeah, this girl’s judgment sounds way off. It’s weird that she messaged you out of the blue and said such intimate things. I think it would’ve been a better idea to just ignore the message.

But since you invited her, you kind of opened the door to future drama, or at the very least some parts of your wedding being made to be all about her and your fiancé instead of you and your fiancé.

Was the argument you had with your fiancé because he didn’t want her invited? If so, I think you should uninvite her immediately. Just tell her there has been a change of plans and you and your fiancé decided on a very small intimate wedding with only family members in attendance.

If your fiancé is also excited about her coming, and wants her to come, I kind of think you’re stuck with her coming since you already invited her and uninviting her at this point would cause even more drama.

if she ends up coming, I would arrange for her to meet up with you and your fiancé a couple days before the wedding. Then she can have her big reunion without taking anything away from your actual wedding. And the day of the wedding, she can be just as any other guest. She comes with everyone else, you and your fiancé greet her just as you will be greeting everyone else, she parties with everyone else, and she leaves with everyone else.

Post # 11
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If she knows it’s not a surprise for your FI anymore, why does she think it’s going to be this huge deal she clearly wanted it to be? Not that you can know what she’s thinking but I would guess that once you take the “surprise” aspect out of it, it sort of takes away the excitement from her end.

I agree with PP, I think it would be helpful to know what your FI said when you told him. He should understand where you’re coming from, and he should be the one to write back to her now and tell her no. I wouldn’t invite someone who lived in the same town as me if I hadn’t seen them in 6 years, no matter how close we used to be. 

Post # 14
3659 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would let her come if she’s willing to shell out for the plane tickets, but I would tell your fiance that she’s coming. She doesn’t need to turn your wedding day into her surprise.

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