Post # 1
In order to avoid a wedding for 200 at home, FI and I decides to have a destination wedding for immediate family and close friends followed by a party back home. We keep saying the small ceremony is for us and the party at home is for everyone else.
Word is starting to spread about our plans. Today, someone told my FSIL that she was going to come and attend the ceremony whether she was invited or not. I can also think of a few friends who would plan Disney vacations around our wedding and say they’ll just attend the ceremony.
How do we handle the people who invite themselves? Especially if they’re telling others that they’d like to come and not us!
Post # 3
You don’t if you tell them nothing (stop giving out details to anyone other than those invited) If they’re dumb enough to ACTAULLY arrive without being invited secruity should prevent non-attendees from attending your wedding.
Post # 4
I presume you are not sharing the details with those who are not invited. How would they know when and where to show up?
If a friend or family member tells you that someone says they are coming, ask that friend to communicate that the invitation list for the wedding is limited.
If someone speaks directly to you, just tell them the same. “We are keeping the wedding very small. We will celebrate with everyone at a later date.”
Post # 5
No, we are not telling details to people who aren’t invited. Or if we are giving details, we also mention that we are having a very small guest list and a party for all the well wishes later on. The problem comes when people who ARE invited (like FSIL) are talking to people who aren’t invited. Everyone is so excited for us!
Post # 6
I accidentally commented on your other thread… here is what I said:
“Send out your invitations as planned, to the people you intend to invite. When the time comes for the actual wedding, hire a bouncer (preferably one who carrys a taser gun) to man the gates. If the person is not on the list, they don’t get in. If they get sassy, they get tased!!
I’m being a little sarcastic- but you can certainly spread by word of mouth that you prefer a small, PRIVATE ceremony. And not so sarcastically, have someone at the door with a guest list, and if they aren’t on it, they don’t get in.”
Post # 7
@smiles4jo: If people are crass enough to show up at a wedding uninvited, than they deserve to be turned away at the door. I would talk to your FSIL and let her know in a roundabout way the guest list is decided and you will have a DOC at the door with the list.