(Closed) Guest List

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It depends on how many you’re comfortable with and your budget. We are only doing +1s for those we are sure are in relationships and bridal party members (most of whom are married or engaged anyway). It also depends on how comfortabe you are with having people you don’t really know at your wedding

Post # 4
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Traditionally, you should never say “+1” or “and guest”.  You should only invite those whose names you actually know, so that would generally only mean people in serious relationships.  Casual boyfriends and girlfriends are okay to exclude.  If there will be a good mix of other singles there, it should be fine.

Post # 5
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I definetly gave +1 to those in the wedding party.  I also gave +1 to those whose SO I know.  I also have a two friends that will not know anyone at the wedding, so I gave them a +1 as well.  Those two friends happen to have lunch with me about a month ago and decided to hang out with each other at the wedding, so they won’t need a plus one.

Post # 6
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

That is really a personal question that has a lot to do with your budget and how you feel about friends bringing dates that you don’t personally know. For me, only engaged/married were invited with their SO. It was difficult but money was the deciding factor. I invited one person with her live-in boyfriend because she’s a coworker and wouldn’t know anyone else there. Plus, she’s the only person invited and who I actually know with a live-in boyfriend (in my religion people don’t live together prior to marriage) so it wasn’t an issue with any other couples.

Make a rule and stick to it. It’s unfair to invite someone’s SO and not the other and to invite some with +1’s and some without. This is why budget plays such a big role. Trust me, I was once invited to a wedding a month before mine without my husband (fiance at the time) and my other friend got to bring her fiance and it just wasn’t fair in my eyes, even though I’m sure budget played a role for her. 

Post # 7
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Fiance and I have both been invited to weddings solo vs. plus one- I’ve only had a plus one for 2 out of 11 friends’ weddings. So yes, you can go to a wedding solo and have a good time-provided you’re seated at a table with people you know!

We only gave plus ones to couples who had been together over a year (plus engaged, living together, married). Fiance proposed in January, and after we did the guest list, we found out that four of our friends had starting dating someone. We now know that at least three of these couples have since split up-another reason why I’m not keen on inviting couples early in their relationship (helped reinforce that we made the right decision.)

If you can allow plus ones for your bridal party, that’s always appreciated. Also- consider Out of Town guests. I have one friends traveling without her BF- I gave her the option of inviting her Mom (who I know) as her “date.”

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